BluObieZ

5

Welcome to the first installment of the Exit Interview of Robbie Zimmers. Which I am calling Dealing with the Devil: Robbie Zimmers. Wordy yes. But oh fucking well. Each will have five to ten questions, depending on how many of the questions I want to answer. Let’s get this shit started.

1.       In the many years you have been here do you regret anything you said or did?

Oh asking the hard hitting questions right off the bat. I like that. Do I regret anything I said or did? First off that’s two questions you sneaky fuck. For most that’s the same answer but not for me. First off all the shit I did, was a calculated move. I “gamed” it out in my head before I did everything around here. If you think for a second that I didn’t plan to attack you, then you are sadly mistaken. There is a time and place for everything… well people say that. So going off that belief, there is a time and place for my attacks. I knew when to attack and did so in a hard hitting calculated attacks. So no I do not regret any attacks I did. Do I regret free agency fuckeries, fucking team over, bouncing around etc? HELL NO! That was all part of the show. Do I regret NY and Vegas? LOL are you fucking crazy? Those were my crowning achievements (beyond all the cups I have) NY was just fun to fuck around and Vegas was me proving that I can actually do the easy job of being a GM. I destroyed the VHLM and all you had a shit fit.

1b. Now onto the second part of your question. Do I regret anything I said? Sure, I’m human after all. Am I not? I may have said shit that was uncalled for, made you scratch your head and think “Did Robbie mean that?” Well guess what, I am here to tell you that no I didn’t mean it. It was all for show. Which comments am I talking about? Well comments like “I’m sorry” “I didn’t mean to say that/do that” that’s a sign of weakness. I am not sorry, I never was and never will be. Deal with it. Or not, I won’t be around here for much longer.

2.       Who in the league was your biggest enemy?

Biggest enemy? First off this is question three not two asshole! I’m only answering five today because this is just annoying. I’m literally only answering these because I am at the airport super early and have time before my wife and kids get here. (Really at airport) But to the question. Who is my biggest enemy? No one. Plain and simple. This is a online forum. An enemy is deeper then that. It’s a different type of hate. Sure @Bushito is a piece of shit that I wish would choke on a cock in a dirty bum town alley. But he is not an enemy. Hell I wouldn’t give him that praise. It’s an honour to be an enemy of mine. But enough about that human walking garbage. DT (Can't @ him because can't find him) and me had our battles but I’m sure we’re okay. @Kendrick, I don’t know where we stand but I’m pretty sure we’ve moved on. If not, well… maybe I should have been informed… Next question

3.       What is your favorite team off all time?

2000-2001 Colorado Avalanche. Team was stacked… Oh you wanted me to talk about the fake hockey league. Aren’t you a cocky fuck? You want me to talk about this league. I thought this was about me and not the stupid shitty fake league. Okay. Well over my many years around here, I’ve been on some stacked teams, or just fun locker rooms to be in. Which teams and which seasons? Do you not know me by now? I am very ignorant. I don’t care enough to have specifics. Any time spent on NY, Helsinki (The Sink), Riga, Davos, Toronto and yes @Banackock Seattle I had fun. But to truly answer the question properly, I’m an ego driven person so any team I am currently playing for is my favorite. So Helsinki this season, whatever season it is… Next and last question.

4.       Is your hate for Calgary real?

Does your mom have tits? No not vulgar enough. Does she have a pussy that she expelled you from? I do not hate the city. I actually have a condo there by the Saddledome. Which I never ever use. So no I do not hate the city. Nor do I actually hate the team/ players on the team. But I do not like the dumbass in charge. He fucked that team in so many ways, he does not have a winning track record. He should quit or get fired. It’s about time there was a change in Cow town.

Yes you read that right. A ten part Robbie Zimmers exit interview is coming to the VHL. It will not be a weekly thing, but one will be posted once in a while leading up to my eventual exit from the league. I have already collected a ton of hard hitting questions that lots of people around here probably would like to know the answer to. I will try my best to answer all the questions in length and not in short little shitty answers. So if a question like "Who do you hate most in the VHL?" You won't get answer like "You know who, why the fuck should I tell you?" You will actually have me telling you who it is and why I hate them so much. To get that answer and the answer to many other questions you will have to wait till next week because well... I'm an asshole like that and I like to make people wait for shit. So till part one of this, fuck off nicely. See. I said nicely. I can be nice. Now truly go play hide and go fuck yourself. 

I should have probably posted this as one of my last ever MS's if not my last, but oh fucking well. It's a easy write up and I can be done with it faster then your mom on her knees sucking your daddy. If you are new to this league, you should read closely since I've been around here for many actual years. I've done it all. Won many cups, pissed a ton of people and losers off, got suspended, got banned and yet I am still here. On my way out of here, I wanted to write this and tell the new peeps what they should do to make most of their time here. So listen up.

This is a online league. Where it should be fun to come on and just do your thing. Whatever your thing is. Be it sucking up to the old timers, being the "deer in the headlights" noob that is just "happy" to be here, stirring shit and the list goes on and on. Whatever you define "fun" you should do it. It may rub some people the wrong way but oh fucking well. You are not here to please people. You are here for your own fucking reasons. Why should you have to appease the masses? why should you have to dumb yourself down so others can have fun? just be yourself. They can ignore you if you don't like you. Ignoring is easy. If they are too politically correct it's not your fault nor is it your job to cater to their needs. Do what you find fun and run with it. You are you and they cannot change it.

Loyalty. Yes something I am not really known for. Hell there are times where I question know what the fuck it is. We live in a fucking world where everyone is greedy and only look out for themselves. So why stay "loyal" to fake teams with fake GM's. Sure there are some cool guys around here and you can bounce around with them. But if you want to leave a true "legacy" in a fake hockey league you really should consider only thinking about your player and not the team they are playing for. Unless the team actually is the best team (or top 2) you really should consider weaseling your way off those teams. What that creates is a more competitive environment. Teams losing players will be forced to actually be smart and not suck for so long. We have short careers here, so why in the hell should we sit on a team for two plus seasons that is in a major rebuild? it's bull shit. Consider coming up with clever conditions to your contract to get your player off those teams if they suck for too long. If they don't like it, well too fucking bad. You are not here to sit on shitty teams and watch others win over and over.

Be creative. Don't make up lame and boring stories for your players. Come up with some creative shit. Shit that makes people like/hate your player because they are that much better then theirs. I've had players that were Mexican Drug lords, Rightful kings of England, One even was born in space (Now you have to be born on this planet, you can thank me for that) Hell my current player is a Greek fucking god and it's fucking epic. Sure I kinda fell behind the story but oh well. My point is don't be lame. Don't be Joe Canada from Toronto Canada wanting to play for the Legion because he grew up watching the Leafs. That's fucking boring and you cannot really go far with that stupid story. If you truly want to have fun. You must make your player fun and not the lame shit that lots of people have.

Find loopholes. You know how many loopholes I found? My player was born in space just so I could have him play for any team in the world cup. The league made me pick one team in a attempt to stop me from fucking around. I also came up with the Guaranteed Movement Clause. Which was a clause that made teams trade me if I wanted out. The Robbie 1 2 is my rookie contract. Where I have a player option on my 3rd season. Most of the time I would no pick it up and off I went to free agency. The list goes on. Hell I have a list of loopholes that I still would like to exploit but I sadly am running out of time on here. So if you are like me and like to fuck around I will gladly pass on my list once I retire. 

Most of all just have fun with whatever you do on here... Other then having fun playing for Calgary. That's impossible. The league should get rid of that joke of a "team" and that complete pathetic piece of garbage GM.  

1

On 9/25/2019 at 9:14 AM, Quik said:

     

Helsinki Titans Press Conference

Week Ending September 29th

     

 

1. After starting off very slowly, offensively, how relieved are you that the team has been on an offensive tear, scoring 40 goals in the last 15 games?
2. Have you considered ever changing your visor to blue or any other color?
3. Which current Titan do you expect to join the Titans Ring of Honour after their playing days are over?
4. What was your last part time job before making it to the big leagues?
5. What's the one thing you most regret in your career?
6. Why is Orion Slade such a great/bad teammate ?

 

     

 

@BarzalGoat @Quik  @Jubo07 @SidTheKid87 @monkeywrench15 @Sonnet @BluObieZ @RunnerBert11 @MexicanCow123 @okocha5 @Tophdaddy @TsarPeter @Jesse Nyman @NavyCanuck @MMFLEX @oilmandan @Antone10

1. Goals are cool and all but the only goal I care about is winning the cup. So ask me at the end.

2. Mine's golden cause well... I'm a fucking god. So no. I will not change it andwill never think of it

3. Me. Clearly. How the fuck do you not have a god not on the ring of honour

4. Pimp. It was part time because well... I was bored.

5. Staying here with you fucking morons. I need to spread my wings while the ladies spread their legs. I need to start bouncing around from team to team. My career is dwindling here boys. It's about time I start playing for two teams a season or some shit.

6. Oh I'm the absolute worst. I am not a good wing man i take all the ladies. I don't share the drugs. The list goes on and on 

Since this is my swan song, my last player and so on I will continue to talk about my career here as a whole. So today I will be talking about my personal regrets about things I did not have the time nor the opportunity to do. 

1. GM another VHL team. I fucked shit up in NY on purpose. For the shits and gigs of it all. I was very vocal about it. The league has not let me helm another VHL team since. Mostly because they fear that I would do it again. But, I have said in the last year or so that I would love the chance (now it makes little sense since I am leaving soonish) I proved that I can do it by winning as  GM in the VHLM with two great teams. I have that killer attitude that all GM's need. But oh fucking well, the time has passed and this will never happen for many reasons. Even if the league begged me. Which they won't. Unless it's taking Calgary off that complete morons hands. 

2. I regret not getting into an epic battle with @boubabi it's a clash that the league deserves to see and now that he is back could it happen? I doubt it because it seems like he is on probation and the league told him to be a good little boy. I guess that's cool and all that he is back. I was one of the people that said he should be allowed to return. But it was for selfish reasons. I wanted to battle him and take him down. But I feel now that if I went after him, it would be like taking away a walking cane from a old man that cannot walk without it (Something I've done in RL. Long story, he was trying to hit me with it so I took it and threw it into the lake) I doubt this ever happens but who fucking knows.

3.   Getting a month long ban. No this is not an attempt at one. Not a cry for one. But I feel that the shit i've done far surpasses anything that anyone has done to even get longtime bans. Most of you are here for the stats and shit. I am here for the fun. What I find fun is stirring the pot till the pot overflows and the league banning me for making a mess. I was a damn good fucking troll, hell I still am. I made moron cry and post on here showing off that I was mean to him. That was not even my best work. I was legit bored and decided to pick on him. But this is not about that. This is about that the longest ban I got was like what? two weeks? nothing ever longer than that. The league for sure had grounds on banning me for far longer. I was a repeat offender, one that never really learned their lesson. Hell after each ban I came back with a bigger chip on my shoulders. Each ban was a badge for me and I wanted more. Hell I even got a in game suspension, which I am sure has not ever been seen again. My last ever post on here will probably get me my life time ban but... it's too bad I never got a month. I got one day, one week, two weeks but never more.

4. Instant Release Clause. Yes I am known for coming up with interesting and crazy clauses in my contracts. Some of them are banned like my GMC (Guaranteed Movement Clause) but the one that I could never get a team to fully agree to was the IRC. I had a few teams that were open to it but it never happened. I either signed with other teams or the GM backed away from it. I can see why, the IRC basically would screw them out of any return for my player if I wanted a release. The GMC was the lesser of the two evils. Till I was told I was not allowed to have one built into my contract. However what the league doesn't know I have had secret clauses with GM's. So I get the last laugh. 

1

If you came in here to read that he regrets signing with Helsinki you would be right to assume such things because his stats are horrible and the team is not dominating the way it should. So far into his career he has two VHLM championships and 1 VHL championship. You would think that he would be happy with where he is in his career. But facts and stats do not lie, Orion Slade is so far the worst forward that the Robbie Agency has signed and it's not even close. His stats are low and that's putting it nicely. One would argue that he plays for an offensive powerhouse and his talents are hidden by better players. Maybe he should have signed with Seattle, who are the best team in the league. He would be the offensive force there. Or maybe he should have gone to Toronto, he would have probably dug them out of the bottom of the league. But he signed in Helsinki after dragging on the decision till the end of free agency. But if you ask him if he regrets signing he says "Regret is a strong word, I only regret going for the modest 3some last night when I could have easily had three girls. I also regret making fun of Calgary during my free agency. But it's hard to make fun of a team that does not exist. People who are dead cannot GM teams, that is a fact. So a team that says a dead person is their GM does not exist. Fuck em"

On 9/16/2019 at 3:27 PM, Quik said:

     

Helsinki Titans Press Conference

Week Ending September 22nd

     

 

1. Once again, the Titans are off to a slow start, offensively. Do you have any concerns moving forward?
2. How much do you enjoy being on Helsinki? Is there anything in the city, in particular, that makes you happy coming to the rink?
3. Have you undertaken any philanthropic endeavours in your time in the VHL? If so, what cause are you supporting? If not, what is a cause you could see yourself supporting?
4. What game do you have marked on your calendar, that you are most looking forward to? Why?
5. Have you seen any good movies lately? What would be your top recommendation?
6. If you could ask a question for the team press conference, what would it be?

 

     

 

@BarzalGoat @Quik  @Jubo07 @SidTheKid87 @monkeywrench15 @Sonnet @BluObieZ @RunnerBert11 @MexicanCow123 @okocha5 @Tophdaddy @TsarPeter @Jesse Nyman @NavyCanuck @MMFLEX @oilmandan @Antone10

1. Yeah, well... I came here for a cup and if we can't score... how can we win?

2. I came up with the nickname "The Sink" so yeah...

3. Cocaine without borders. It really should be legalized. 

4. Any game against Calgary because their GM is a little crybaby bitch and that's me putting it nicely.

5. AD Astra. Fucking amazing.

6. Why is Orion Slade such a great/bad teammate? 

For a player that was supposed to be jumping from team to team every year, Orion Slade has stayed loyal to the Helsinki Titans. He is in his current and most likely last season with the team. When all signs pointed to him bolting to Toronto or Seattle he put a halt to the talks and chose to return to Helsinki.

But why? Why would the last ever player in the Robbie Zimmers agency go back on their word of jumping around? Is it really truly that simple as it’s because Helsinki is by far the favorite to win cup? Or was it out of loyalty to the team.

Well look at the loyalty side. Orion going into the draft told teams that they plan to change teams every season. For the first season on his contract he stayed in the VHLM, staying loyal to his VHLM team which helps this case. He won back to back cups in the VHLM before making the jump the next season to the VHL where he won his first cup. You would think he would jump ship and find a new team the following season. Well you guessed wrong. He didn’t even decline his player option. He literally turned down for the last ever “Robbie 1 2” just to stay in Helsinki. Which helps the argument for the loyalty angle. But once Helsinki failed to capture the cup last season you would think he would bolt and find a team that would give him his next cup. Well after a long exhaustive search Orion concluded that his best option was Helsinki to get another cup.  So be that loyalty or just lucked out that the team that he played for the last two seasons literally gave him the best shot at a cup.

But do you really believe that Orion picked them just because they gave him the best shot at a cup? I mean if you look at Toronto and Seattle they are pretty much one very good piece away from a real cup contender. Previous Robbie players went to both Toronto and Seattle and brought cups there. Toronto this time around had by far the best pitch. Orion would have been the 2^nd best forward on the team and would not be hidden behind a sea of talent. Orion would have the chance to shine and pile on the points. But truth is Orion is not after personal stat, he is after cups. When it literally came down to who gave him a best shot right now the answer was Helsinki. Even though reports are that Orion was seconds away from signing with Toronto till Helsinki gave a last second pitch. Which brings me to why Orion did not sign with Seattle. Much like Toronto, Seattle is a upcoming team and both needed Orion to come in and just run shit. Orion would have come in like a wrecking ball and owned shit. But the problem was, sure it would have been fun but in the end they did not stand a chance against the true contenders. Orion will 100% play one season for both Seattle and Toronto but this season was not going to be that season. The true reason why Orion went back to Helsinki was his desire to win cups, nothing else.

On 9/11/2019 at 1:54 PM, Quik said:

     

Helsinki Titans Press Conference

Week Ending September 15th

     

 

1. The off-season is coming to an end, how did you spend your time away from the rink?
2. The Titans made two highly controversial moves, in trading away the rights to superstar Matt Thompson and acquiring ACL TEAR, who is represented by the same agent as Kronos Bailey. How do you feel about the team's off-season?
3. After a disappointing Continental Cup final, losing to those bums in Vancouver, do you think the Titans have what it takes to win the Cup this season?
4. What is one skill you're focused on working on throughout the upcoming season?
5. How do you feel about being in a division with Davos and Malmo? Who do you think is the bigger competition?
6. What team, aside from Helsinki, do you think has the best chance to win the Continental Cup this season, and why?

 

     

 

@BarzalGoat @Quik  @Jubo07 @SidTheKid87 @monkeywrench15 @Sonnet @BluObieZ @RunnerBert11 @MexicanCow123 @okocha5 @Tophdaddy @TsarPeter @Jesse Nyman @NavyCanuck @MMFLEX @oilmandan @Antone10 @Zeno

1. Partied it all over the world. A world party tour so speak.

2. Honestly don't care, as long as me coming back for another season is paid off with my 2nd cup

3.  Um yes. I wouldn't have come back if I didn't

4. Less drinking and drugs and more playing

5. Neither. They both suck

6. No one, I don't pay attention to any other team. 

1

9 minutes ago, JeffD said:

I know all about the tough guy show you put on and your self importance.

 

You’ve been putting on the same show for over 10 years.

Lol. Who is this guy

2 hours ago, JeffD said:

I'm not sure anyone was actually annoyed by this in the slightest.

You clearly don't know my rep. Its cute that you think you know.

10

Its finally that time. The one that... none of you were waiting for. Orion Slade has made up his mind finally where he will play next season.

"Why the fuck did it take so fucking long Robbie?"

"Why do you always have to do these fuckeries?"

"Are you just doing this for the attention?"

All valid questions. It took so long because I wanted to make you wait. Waiting and the longer it takes me to come up with my mind the more annoyed you get. Which is my goal. Which why I do these. That also answered the attention question. I do this cause I can and I live how annoyed people are by this.

But without further delay. Orion Slade next season is taking his talents back to the Sink. 

It's been a while since I have been active enough (or not banned) to post one of these. So I will continue my series of posts leading up to my eventual exit from this thing people call a league. Today's article is about Sir William Covington III or just simply SWC3.

What people really need to know about me (if you don't already know it) is that I plan my players many seasons in advance. So much so that I know exactly what their story is and what type of attitude they will have. SWC3 came to be because my wife was watching something about the fucking royals, and I hate anything about the royals. I mean why are people so glued to them? in this day and age there is no need for them. The Queen does nothing other then get a day older each day. Congrats. These people should be tossed aside and forgotten about. Now having said all that, I though hey! what if I make a story of how my next player will be the "rightful" king of England. 

SWC3 was born just like that. He had to be named Sir because well... all royal fucks are. William is a good old English name and Covington is just royal as fuck. Him being the 3rd is just a joke. I had him doing things that no Royal would even think about doing. Doing massive lines of coke off hookers, partying in Vegas, spending exorbitant amounts of money and just being flashy as fuck. The myth and legend of SWC3 spread to the league pretty fucking quik. He won the ROTY and his totals just got better from there. His free agency fuckery was one for the record books. Teams literally begging me to sign with them. Hoping he would be their final piece in winning a cup or that one piece that takes them from a pretender to a playoff contender. What they did not know is SWC3 only wanted to win cups and it was something he did lots. I believe he won four. 

Looking back at all my players in this "league" I think SWC3 was my favorite because of the impact he had. No, not because people liked him. I couldn't care any less about that. He just kicked fucking as and he did it fucking royally. He was better then most people back then and he made you aware of it. You loved him or hated him. You loved seeing him win yet another cup, or you thought "not this again" but why did you feel these things? is it because of your hate/love for me? no it's because of the player i built him up to be. His presence in the league, it was like none the league has ever experience. I rammed him down your throat and let the league know what he was up to every fucking step of the way. It truly was a sight to be seen. Something that Orion is missing... Hopefully I can get back to caring about him so he can finish strong. But his story will never be as grand as SWC3's.  

1

It's time for that magical time, Free Agency. Yes it opens tomorrow and people all across the league are wondering where some of the players will be signing. Well, i'm sorry to be the one to tell you that most of the big fish probably already know where they are going. So don't get your hopes up if you don't have an agreement with any of them. What should really concern you is that you still have not talked to Orion Slade. A player that in fact will draw this out till the last possible second. Robbie Zimmers agency players are known to draw out their decision till the last day of training camp. So you know for a fact Orion has no idea right now where he will play next season. So much so he has ignored any and all attempts from the Helsinki Titans to contact him in efforts to bring him back for yet another cup run. Robbie Zimmers had this to say about his clients upcoming "Fuckery" "Listen, I don't care if he played for you last season or if I had a player that played for you in the past. You know how this works. You do not just submit a fucking offer and hope for the best. You reach out to me with a pitch and we talk numbers. If I do not receive a pitch from you before free agency opens then you might as well not submit a offer at all. It will be rejected right away. There is a process here, respect it or just plain fuck off" Where will Orion Slade sign? who knows! but what is sure is that it will be a entertaining few days. 

5

1

On 8/18/2019 at 10:37 PM, boubabi said:

I'm the best dog

Anytime you want to go at it, i'm game. The league will never be the same after

1

On 8/15/2019 at 12:52 AM, Sonnet said:

Helsinki Titans Press Conference

Week Ending 8/11

    

 

1) Right now, the Titans sit at 3rd in the division with only a few games left to play. How confident do you feel about the upcoming playoff run?

2) If you had to give an award to one player on the team, who would it be?

3) Conversely, the time to speak up is now. Is anyone on the team under-performing? Do they need a little pick-me-up before the playoffs?

4) Expansion has been a hot topic in the VHL as of late. What does your ideal expansion team look like?

5) Do you feel as if we have something to prove, entering the playoffs as the defending champs, even though our spot in the standings doesn't support it?

6) Overall, how do you feel about how this season played out?

 

    

@BarzalGoat @Quik @Jubo07 @SidTheKid87 @monkeywrench15 @Sonnet @Sohva  @BluObieZ @RunnerBert11 @MexicanCow123 @okocha5 @Jables @jblock3 @Tophdaddy @TsarPeter @Beketov @oilmandan

1) very confident. The team expects the confidence from me

2) Myself for just being myself. People may hate me but oh fucking well

3) Me and no. I just need hookers and blow

4) have no idea. Don't really care. They better be the Idaho Potatoes.

5) Nope the cup is ours and everyone knows it

6) meh