Abaddon

YES, PUNY ONES, IT IS I. TREMBLE. QUAKE. SHIELD YOUR TINY PATHETIC EYES IF YOU MUST. MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS HAS RISEN FROM THE ASHES OF HIS PREVIOUS BODY HE HAS REFORMED INTO A NEW BEING: MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS X.
 
I HAVE REINCARNATED ONCE AGAIN TO BRING HELL ONTO THIS INSIGNIFICANT PLANE. I HAVE DECIDED TO USE THE SPORT OF HOCKEY ONCE AGAIN TO ADD TO MY PERSONAL CRUSHED BONE COLLECTION.
 
YES, VHL. YOUR GOD HAS RETURNED. YOUR BRAIN BITS WILL SOON KNOW HOW COLD ICE IS. YOUR SKATES WILL BE FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT BLOOD AND GORE. I WILL USE YOUR EYE SOCKETS TO SKATE AROUND THE RING LIKE A MORBID FIGURE 8. I WILL BEAT YOUR EYES OUT OF YOUR SOCKETS JUST TO BAT THEM AROUND LIKE A BORED CAT. MY TEETH WILL REND YOUR FLESH FROM THE CARTILAGE AND I WILL BATHE IN YOUR PAIN. MY HANDS LONG TO FEEL YOUR ENTRAILS.
 
MORPHEUS HAS RISEN, AND HE WANTS BLOOD.

Don't you mean it's hard to police when the ones policing are using the slurs?

Here's an interesting idea, maybe just don't use slurs?

TEAM EUROPE, WJC S68
 


EU STAFF
Pär-Mårten Elmebeck (GM)
Lincoln Tate (Assistant GM)
Guy LeGrande (Assistant to the Assistant GM)

EU ROSTER

AVERAGE TPA AT TIME OF PICKS
Europe: 276
Canada: 240
USA: 214
Asia: 210
World: 172

Team Europe are clearly the favorites with this roster and it is up to them to lose the gold, but can they contain Morpheus (@Abaddon)? 

WJC GM Elmebeck had this to say, "I am very happy with the roster me and our team have put together, now it's up to us to make sure the lines work, and up to the players to perform to the high expectations. The whole of Europe is watching us and we won't fail them!"
 
@Tate, the assistant GM, nodded during the press conference, "This is one of the strongest showings in years, I really hope we can win this comfortably and with a performance we don't have to feel ashamed about."

Guy LeGrande (@Steve), the assistant to the assistant GM offered, "This is the opposite of the Monroe doctrine."

The press, Elmebeck and Tate look a bit lost while trying to parse what LeGrande just had said, but somehow it made some sort of sense. Elmebeck caught his bearings, "If USA falls to us we could call it a part of the Marshall Plan? An attempt to save Europe's pride?" Pity laughter ensued among the reporters at the weak joke. Elmebeck cleared his throat with some embarrassment.

A Finnish reporter stepped in, "Sinulla on joukkueessa kolme ruotsalaista ja kolme suomalaista, onko tämä tarkoitus?"

Elmebeck without missing a beat, "Kyllä, halusin tasapainottaa sen ja saada edustajia myös Islannista ja Tanskasta, mutta valitettavasti ketään norjalaista ei ollut valittavissa turnaukseen."

The press conference was about to end, people shuffled down towards the openings as one more question was raised loudly before the two coaches and the assistant to the assistant could escape, "Attakallio (@Bobby Bummhole), what made you pick him at 39 TPE?! Has he even played this season?"



Elmebeck removed his glasses and squinted, "Because he called me and asked to be on the team," he paused gravely, "and I have never seen anyone opening a door to the bench as well as he does. He'll be great, and that's that."

The reporter got a bit more combative in his tone, "How do you explain skimming over @Edustava and Ohradka (@animal74) then? I thought your son played with them in Houston? Not to mention your neglected to pick Petrovic (@Tyler)?!"

"Because I don't play favorites like that. Obviously both I and Fredrik would have liked to have both of them, and I was heavily considering Petrovic, but as long as I knew they were picked by World or Asia I wanted to go for some players slightly better than them. This is my team, not Fredrik's..." Pär-Mårten paused again, "...and certainly not yours."

"Is that how you run Mississauga?" the reporter continued in an accusing tone.

"Do you even follow hockey? I am assisting the GM in Saskatoon Wild, not goddamned Mississauga Feebles. Now, thank you very much for this opportunity to present our team. We have work to attend to."

"The public has a right to know! What about Jokinen! Swedish bias?!", the reporter shouted while raising his fist as security started to remove him from the room.

Elmebeck's thoughts were on the lines already, "Lehtinen - Eller - Nolan would make sense for 1st line? Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it..."

AVE  EUROPE NOSTRA  VERA PATRIA


(Thanks to @Ahma for help with the Finnish grammar, sorry for not being able to pick you)

Team Europe's proud selection!

Guys, if you got tagged, join us on Discord here: https://discord.gg/fc6kAZb or reach out to me at VerloreneSiege#9910
 
C Frans Eller @Ace 
C Kaspars Claude @Bruins10
C Balentine Kidd @TukTukTheGreat

LW Teemu Lehtinen Jr @Sixersfan549
LW Sigard Gunnar @Big Mac
LW Soren Jensen @Velevra
 
RW Owen Nolan @studentized
RW Mac Hooper @MacH
RW Roadkill Steve @stevo
 
D Wolf Stanson Jr @Cornholio
D Fredrik Elmebeck @Elmebeck
D Pierre Persson @Dominus89
D MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS @Abaddon

G Thorvald Gunnarsson @Saelven88
G Toppi Attakallio @Bobby Bummhole
 

Oh shit!! This is dope af
 
@gorlab missing you always ?
 
#freegorlab

@Abaddon

MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS IS IN THE NA RUN!

The S66 VHL Entry Draft, I'm told, was one for the ages, and by far the most deep of all time, at the time. I, obviously, cannot speak for this, as I was a rookie in this draft class. I'm actually writing about this season in particular for two reasons: first, the aforementioned, my presence within it, and second, the fact that this season is the one (so far) that I extensively covered around draft time with my own mock draft (because I need another reason to talk about it and haven't mentioned it in a whole 53 seconds), the creatively-named Gustav's Mock Draft, from which I'll be pulling such things as at-the-time team needs and lineup analysis. I'll also mention that this article is made possible by @rjfryman's post-draft live rankings, where I'll get all my current TPE numbers, and by the recently-renovated draft section of the portal (many thanks to @Will). Anyway, enough with the intro. Let's get on to the drafting. I'll be going approximately however long I feel like with this, so my apologies if we reach some arbitrary cutoff point or if you feel you've been FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY.
 
TPE numbers are as of last week.
 
 
 #1: Riga Reign (from MOS)
Hunter Hearst Helmsley | @Beaviss | C | 1st overall | TPE: 431 (Current TPE: 777)
Actual draft pick: Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Mock draft pick: Hunter Hearst Helmsley
OK, let's get this one over with. HHH at #1, we know. Though a tiny bit of doubt about Helmsley's #1 overall status was thrown around before the draft, none of it gained any serious traction and he went to the Reign with the top pick. Here, there's no doubt--HHH is #1 in the class by 89 TPE, and, should he stick with Riga when his contract is up after the coming season, figures to be the team's (and quite possibly the league's) #1 forward in good time. 
 
#2: Vancouver Wolves (from DAV)
Julius Freeman | @rjfryman | LW | 2nd overall | TPE: 339 (Current TPE: 688)
Actual draft pick: Julius Freeman
Mock draft pick: Julius Freeman
When the draft results rolled in, I was particularly proud of calling this pick--Freeman was behind at-the-time #2 Shane Mars by a bit, but had demonstrated the ability to earn TPE at an incredible rate since joining (due in part to reasons which made me hate the lottery forever, but he's cool so all is forgiven). Freeman is now the #2 player in the draft class, and while it should be noted that Jet Jaguar is catching up, the Wolves had their future #1 center in Gritty already at the time of the draft, keeping Freeman at this point for now.
 
#3: Seattle Bears (from CGY)
Jet Jaguar | @gorlab | C | 10th overall | TPE: 304 (Current TPE: 686)
Actual draft pick: Shane Mars
Mock draft pick: Shane Mars
The draft class has a clear-cut "top 3," and Jaguar rounds it out here. To say that he's earned at a ridiculous rate would be an understatement--he was 18 ahead of my player at the time of the draft, and now sits over 100 ahead, and I've earned every last point I could in that timeframe. Honestly, I've got no clue how he's been doing it, but what's important is that he's now put into a much better, and more fair, position than his 10th overall selection.
 
#4: Riga Reign (from VAN via DAV)
Apollo Hackett | @Renomitsu | D | 16th overall | TPE: 231 (Current TPE: 584)
Actual draft pick: Mikko Aaltonen
Mock draft pick: Mikko Aaltonen
At the time of the draft, Riga's top need was defensive depth--they had a wonderful, but slightly aging, roster all around, presenting availability at every position depth-wise, but defense was easily the position most in need of filling immediately after the departure of Shawn Glade. This pick makes sense on both levels: one, Hackett is the top player on the board in terms of TPE, and two, he plays the position Riga is out to get. At the time of the draft, picking any defenseman at #4 overall would have been a bit of a reach, but now it finally makes sense.
 
#5: Moscow Menace (from NYA via RIG)
Jerry Garcia | @GustavMattias | D | 7th overall | TPE: 286 (Current TPE: 583)
Actual draft pick: Dmitri Volosenkov
Mock draft pick: Shawnomir Jagr (14th overall)
We're seeing a strong BPA trend so far, with the picks here directly following the TPE rankings, and this pick is no exception. Moscow, at the time of the draft, could make a good case for drafting any player at all, at any position, as a second-season expansion team. Jerry Garcia is the best player available here, so that's what they go with.
 
#6: HC Davos Dynamo (from RIG)
Charlie Paddywagon | @DMaximus | D | 6th overall | TPE: 270 (Current TPE: 572)
Actual draft pick: Charlie Paddywagon
Mock draft pick: Dmitri Volosenkov (5th overall)
When I was writing up the mock, I reasoned that while defensive depth was the biggest concern for Davos, trading for Shawn Glade and giving Smitty a linemate for the top pairing would at least leave the team free to go BPA. Anyway, I was wrong about that--Davos made a surprising move and took Paddywagon over Garcia at this point, confusing the hell out of me at the time as Garcia was the top defenseman available in terms of TPE, and our builds are highly similar. Later, Shawn told me that he made the choice because he knew Paddywagon and saw him as a safe option. No protests here, as Charlie has lived up to expectations, staying close to even with the top of the defensive crop.
 
#7: Malmo Nighthawks
Shawnomir Jagr | @TheLastOlympian07 | RW | 14th overall | TPE: 296 (Current TPE: 568)
Actual draft pick: Jerry Garcia
Mock draft pick: Jerry Garcia
Well, we're still following the TPE rankings, though that wasn't my intention. Malmo's in a bit of a rough spot here--they came into the draft with one defenseman (Basaraba Moose) on the roster, and the defensive situation was fairly lost at first under lots of "Malmo is going to draft Owen May" talk. At this point, there aren't any defensemen available for the taking, or at least there aren't any who would be a reach at #7 overall, as the next available defenseman is Rusty Shackleford, 14th in the TPE rankings with 467. If this were the real draft, it would make lots of sense if Malmo were to trade up a spot or two to satisfy their need. Here, though, Jagr goes with this pick as the best player available.
 
#8: Riga Reign (from SEA via DAV)
Mikko Aaltonen | @GRZ | RW | 4th overall | TPE: 315 (Current TPE: 550)
Actual draft pick: Aron Nielsen
Mock draft pick: Jet Jaguar (10th overall)
Aaltonen jumped up to #4 in the TPE rankings at draft time, and indeed went fourth overall in the draft, coincidentally, to Riga. It's worth noting that he's slipped a few spots, for sure, and isn't much of a "TPE whore," but he's earning consistently at a respectable rate and has developed into a nice depth role for now, slotting right into Riga's plans for the future. 
 
#9: Riga Reign (from HSK via CGY via DAV)
Hans Gruber | @TheFlash | C | 28th overall | TPE: 225 (Current TPE: 506)
Actual draft pick: Arnor Sigurdsson
Mock draft pick: Aron Nielsen (8th overall)
Yes, we're still following the TPE rankings at this point. Riga could have used a center at the time of the draft, but HHH took care of that with the first pick. This season, too, top defenseman Ryan Kastelic switched to center, leaving the team fairly set up for the near future at the position. So, why pick Gruber? Remember, just about all of Riga's roster at the time was S63 or earlier, and while they had the star power for a few seasons to come, the future needs consideration, and with this pick the team aims to get a second center who can step into a major role immediately when the top of the roster begins to age out.
 
#10: Moscow Menace (from TOR via CGY via RIG)
Mat Tocco | @Matmenzinger | RW | 31st overall | TPE: 189 (Current TPE: 477)
Actual draft pick: Jet Jaguar
Mock draft pick: Owen May (11th overall)
Finally, I get to deviate from the rankings! There are two wingers here, one who would be following the rankings exactly, but I'm picking Tocco here. Currently, he's 16 behind Arnor Sigurdsson, but at the time of the draft he was 95 behind, making up a solid 79 TPE since that point. We also saw a bit of artificial separation prior to the draft, as Tocco slowed down to stay in the minors another season. So, up to #10 he goes.
 
 
SECOND ROUND
 
 
#11: Moscow Menace
Arnor Sigurdsson | @bluesfan55 | RW | 9th overall | TPE: 284 (Current TPE: 493)
Actual draft pick: Owen May
Mock draft pick: Arnor Sigurdsson
Moscow, at this point, still would have had demonstrated need at every position. Garcia in the first round gets them a nice defenseman, and they picked up a winger in Tocco. They need a goalie here, but the top netminder of the class is Owen May, who's fallen off the wagon in recent weeks. So, the team goes BPA here and picks up another forward in Sigurdsson, who hasn't been the league's fastest earner in recent seasons but still presents an active, solid option with future potential.
 
#12: Calgary Wranglers
John Frostbeard | @FrostBeard | RW | 12th overall | TPE: 184 (Current TPE: 464)
Actual draft pick: John Frostbeard
Mock draft pick: Chico Smeb (19th overall)
Calgary surprised quite a few people by reaching up to take Frostbeard in the second--while being a winger, and being able to fill Calgary's single pressing need, he was, at 184 TPE, far from the highest-TPE winger on the board (Chico Smeb, best winger available in my mock draft pool, had 272, and Shawnomir Jagr at 296 was still on the board in the actual draft). Here, we've seen Jagr leave the draft pool before #12, but Frostbeard gets the nod over Smeb due to both his higher earn rate and his positive history with Philadelphia, a VHLM team with strong Calgary ties.
 
#13: HC Davos Dynamo (from VAN via RIG)
Rusty Shackleford | @K1NG LINUS | 17th overall | TPE: 199 (Current TPE: 467)
Actual draft pick: Codrick Past
Mock draft pick: Charlie Paddywagon (6th overall)
Up above, we see a tale of three defensemen--at this point, defense isn't a huge issue for Davos. They've got Glade and Smitty on the top line, and they've just picked up Paddywagon in the first. They've got the ability to use 482 (at the time, I think? That's just a number that pops out to me) TPE semi-active Cayden Saint on the second pairing, for now. In the future, though, they'd need someone else to step up, and who better than Shackleford, who stayed down in the minors a second season, to do it for them? His activity took a small hit recently, but speaking through the Malmo grapevine, there isn't much to worry about as he'll continue to develop just fine.
 
#14: Vancouver Wolves (from DAV)
Chico Smeb | @xDParK | LW | 19th overall | TPE: 272 (Current TPE: 472)
Actual draft pick: Shawnomir Jagr
Mock draft pick: Bert Meyers (15th overall)
Smeb is, in actuality, the higher-ranking winger when compared to Frostbeard, but I've explained why he's here already. His earn rate isn't spectacular, but it's there, and consistently so. Smeb goes to Vancouver here, a team with limited positional need but with room to use the best available players however they see fit.
 
#15: Helsinki Titans (from NYA)
Guillaume Fontenette | @okocha5 | D | 30th overall | TPE: 156 (Current TPE: 399)
Actual draft pick: Bert Meyers
Mock draft pick: Codrick Past (13th overall)
If I were to list BPA here, it would be Past. So why isn't it? He plays Fontenette's position, and he's almost 50 TPE ahead. Here's the thing: he was over 100 ahead at the time of the draft, and Fontenette has been slowly but surely gaining ever since, even moving four spots up in the TPE rankings last week. Is this a good choice? Will Fontenette catch, and eventually overtake, Past in the future (sorry for the weird wording there), with enough time to have a noticeable positive effect? Only time will tell.
 
#16: Riga Reign
Codrick Past | @Kylrad | D | 13th overall | TPE: 258 (Current TPE: 447)
Actual draft pick: Apollo Hackett
Mock draft pick: Apollo Hackett
And here's Past; that didn't take long. Riga could still use some defense, even after taking Hackett in the first. And who's the best player on the board? That's right, a defenseman. Past to Riga in an easy selection, though this would be Fontenette to Riga had Helsinki gone the other way.
 
#17: Malmo Nighthawks
Jordan Tonn | @MexicanCow123 | C | 29th overall | TPE: 200 (Current TPE: 438)
Actual draft pick: Rusty Shackleford
Mock draft pick: Rusty Shackleford
Here Malmo finds themselves in yet another defense-less predicament. They need a defenseman more than anything else, and if this were the real draft, with real possibility for trades, with a writer who factors this kind of thing in and tries to project it, I can again promise that the Nighthawks absolutely would have traded up at least a spot in the first round. Under the conditions of this redraft specifically, Malmo is screwed, so they take what they can and try to make something out of it through a trade or two. In this case, what they get is Tonn, a decent, active center and AGM of San Diego.
 
#18: Vancouver Wolves (from SEA)
Aleksander Rodriguez | @Jtv123 | RW | 24th overall | TPE: 199 (Current TPE: 435)
Actual draft pick: Kyle Sabertooth
Mock draft pick: Hans Gruber (28th overall)
Vancouver definitely does not need a winger at this point, but after Rodriguez, there's a bit of a drop-off in TPE among the actives, with the next member who's updated in the past week coming in at 384. Rodriguez is 51 TPE ahead of the competition here, and as such he's taken as the most valuable, either for depth or for trade value.
 
#19: HC Davos Dynamo (from HSK via CGY via VAN)
Cody Smith | @cody73 | LW | 42nd overall | TPE: 138 (Current TPE: 351)
Actual draft pick: Chico Smeb
Mock draft pick: Maximilian Kirbsson (23rd overall)
It should be noted that as of this season, Smith has shifted to the blue line, converting from a winger to a defenseman. At the time of the draft, though, he played left wing, so that's how we'll treat him here. While a bit behind Nethila Dissanayake, who's got 368 TPE, Smith has proved to be the quicker earner, and figures to move up the board in the future as a valuable asset.
 
#20: Seattle Bears (from TOR via HSK via VAN)
Edward Vigneault | @Patpou22 | D | 33rd overall | TPE: 182 (Current TPE: 335)
Actual draft pick: Valeri Morozov
Mock draft pick: Valeri Morozov
The Bears here use their second-rounder on Vigneault, the best available defenseman. This isn't a question of positional need--Seattle had a ton of it, everywhere. It's not even a question of BPA--Owen May is still on the board, and over in forward-land, so is Dissanayake. Lately, Vigneault's been earning TPE at a solid rate, more so than either of the aforementioned, which puts him in this spot for now.
 
 
THIRD ROUND
 
 
#21: Moscow Menace
Owen May | @FacebookFighter | G | 11th overall | TPE: 266 (Current TPE: 442)
Actual draft pick: Beau Buefordsson
Mock draft pick: Ludvig Sederstrom (22nd overall)
Goaltending is a pressing concern for Moscow at this point, and while May's return to consistent, at times maxed-out, earning, is somewhat in question at the moment, that's a chance the team is willing to take here. If May does in fact return to the site (last update close to a month ago, but he's given his reasons), this would be a steal for the Menace. Either way, it's a chance Victor is likely willing to take, and gives the team a player with great future potential.
 
#22: Helsinki Titans (from CGY)
Nethila Dissanayake | @nethi99 | RW | 26th overall | TPE: 199 (Current TPE: 368)
Actual draft pick: Ludvig Sederstrom
Mock draft pick: Beau Buefordsson (21st overall)
Helsinki was (and is) reasonably filled at every position by this point. It's possible that they'd be looking for an eventual replacement for Pepper here, but circumstances allow for a bit of BPA exploration, and that's exactly what happens here, with Dissanayake being taken at 22.
 
#23: New York Americans (from VAN via HSK via MOS)
Dean Clarke | @Kyle | D | 51st overall | Current TPE: 314
Actual draft pick: Maximilian Kirbsson
Mock draft pick: Kyle Sabertooth (18th overall)
You may have noticed that I don't have a number for Clarke's TPE at the time of the draft. This is because I simply don't know what it was--I've been taking TPE numbers from my mock, and I didn't even have him projected in the 5 rounds I covered. Since the draft, Clarke has climbed the ladder, though--making it to BPA here as far as actives are concerned. With this pick, an Americans roster that was, at the time, falling apart, picks up a player who can make the eventual shift into effective territory--maybe not now, but in the future, and that's exactly what they need.
 
 #24: Riga Reign (from DAV)
Ben Hafkey | @ItsMcLovin | LW | 53rd overall | TPE: 112 (Current TPE: 309)
Actual draft pick: Aleksander Rodriguez
Mock draft pick: Kolur Bjoernsson (49th overall)
Hafkey is another late bloomer who's managed to make his way into the last few actives of the class. He's done reasonably well in recent weeks, with an earn rate consistent with many above him here. He's easily BPA here for Riga, and as such he's picked up at this point.
 
#25: Moscow Menace (from NYA)
Blake Laughton | @Grape | LW | 47th overall | TPE: 151 (Current TPE: 291)
Actual draft pick: Edgar Tannahill
Mock draft pick: Edgar Tannahill
Laughton's earning has been somewhat inconsistent over time, but lately he's been doing well enough. Soon, he may find himself stepping into a depth role as a physical forward with a scoring touch, providing valuable support for a playoff team or perhaps being the temporary centerpiece of a rebuild.
 
#26: Calgary Wranglers (from RIG)
MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS | @Abaddon | D | 57th overall | Current TPE: 272
Actual draft pick: Nethila Dissanayake
Mock draft pick: Nethila Dissanayake
Ah, MORPHEUS, the league's favorite bone-crusher. He hasn't been on every week to earn points, but he has done something most weeks in recent memory. He also plays a hard physical game, meaning that he could be seen as a player of value for teams looking for such a thing. 
 
#27: Seattle Bears (from MAL)
Micheal Rassmussen | @Connor mcdavid | LW | 78th overall | Current TPE: 158
Actual draft pick: Clayton Park
Mock draft pick: Aleksander Rodriguez (24th overall)
Rassmussen is the last active of the draft class, and I suppose I'll finish off the third round after this point. He's been on for 6 TPE per week from welfare and practice facility, consistently, and at 78th overall was the last active player to be selected, by Helsinki. While it's unknown whether or not he'll develop into anything in the VHL, here he's the obvious BPA.
 
#28: Vancouver Wolves (from SEA)
Shane Mars | @Spade18 | LW | 3rd overall | TPE: 358 (Current TPE: 381)
Actual draft pick: Hans Gruber
Mock draft pick: Rhye Tyr
 
Well, that certainly aged well. As anyone who's been active since the time of the S66 draft knows, Mars historically disappeared from the site in mid-May, and while his eventual return is promised, nothing is known for sure yet. It's probable that, when he comes back, Mars will retire for the sake of a fresh start, but here he's picked up by Vancouver, who hopes for a quik return and a few updates.
 
#29: Helsinki Titans
Aron Nielsen | @solas | D | 8th overall | TPE: 274 (Current TPE: 389)
Actual draft pick: Jordan Tonn
Mock draft pick: Clayton Park
Nielsen was, at one point, the top defenseman in the draft class (@Renomitsu wrote all about him in the second article in our tagging wars). He showed a patch of inconsistency during his first season in the minors, but quickly recovered and returned to past hall-of-fame form. Since that point, though, he's gone inactive again, raising questions about Nielsen's future in the league.
 
#30: Helsinki Titans
Walter Clements | @cpetrella | C | 55th overall | TPE: 134 (Current TPE: 267)
Actual draft pick: Guillaume Fontenette
Mock draft pick: Jordan Tonn
Clements rose up the board after being drafted into the VHL, but fell off the wagon soon after, having not updated in almost a month. It's interesting to see if he makes a return, and if so, the pick could still turn out to be a steal.
 
 
3,660 words, will claim for 4 weeks starting the week ending 9/8.

It was a bad scene in Malmo yesterday.
 
After hearing that the Vegas GM Matt Materazo had kicked him out of the Vegas Locker Room, things got heated. Literally.
 
"tis terrible! i pick'd yond weakling up with one handeth and crusheth his bones. It hath felt valorous" MORPHEUS told us. Apparently MORPHEUS speaks in shakespearean language as well. Materazo was hospitalized, and shared a room with fellow Malmo teammate Rusty Shackleford. Shackleford had been playing the Malmo signature game "Drink The Beer", when MORPHEUS gave him third degree burns by breathing on him. 
 
"Overall it's not a good look for us. We like to get wild in Malmo, but now people are getting hurt. Maybe we need to get a leash for MORPHEUS." Defenseman Jerry Garcia told us in an exclusive interview.
 
This is the second incident regarding MORPHEUS injuring players. General manager ADV isn't keen on trading him though. When asked why, he responded with, "Isn't it obvious?" That's all he had to say to us.
 
We will see how both Materazo and Shackleford recover from their injuries, as the season is set to start sometime this week.
 
 
@Abaddon
@K1NG LINUS
@GustavMattias
 

MALMO--The Nighthawks' experience this past season was disappointing to say the least, but that didn't stop the team, and their new class of players, from having a good time Wednesday night, as several of the team's players were spotted at a local bar. Good times were had by all, until defenseman Rusty Shackleford was breathed upon by new callup MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS. 
 
"I don't know, I guess I just got a bit too close to him," said Shackleford from a hospital bed Thursday night. "He kinda leaned over and breathed fire all over me, and now here I am." 
 
"We were all having fun playing 'Drink the Beer,' our favorite party game," said forward Matthew Materazo, "but then Shack caught on fire and we had to tranquilize MORPHEUS and that was that for the night." 
 
Meanwhile, DESTRUCTIOUS declined to offer an apology for his actions, although he did acknowledge that he was told not to "DEVOUR SOUL OF LITTLE MAN IN SAME COLORED SHIRT" by team management after the incident. 
 
Shackleford is in stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery by the start of the season.
 
 
Mentioned: @K1NG LINUS @Matt_O @Abaddon 

Damn, I was a steal?

Throughout VHL history, there have been many legends to step onto the ice, from the early days with Scotty Campbell and Brett Slobodzian, to current day with Matt Thompson and Julian Borwinn. While these players have been remembered through their play on the ice, there is another group of legends that receive no recognition. Their contributions to the league haven't come with their play on the ice, but rather their names. Some modern day names such as MORPHEUS DESTRUCTUS, Tzuyu, and Luc-Pierre Lespineau-Lebrunette are flashes of greatness, but today, we need to start from the beginning. We need to go back to July 18th, 2007, to search for the greatest name in VHL history.
 
 
(S2+S3) Sexy McSexington, D
 
After being picked in the S2 draft as a goalie, he retired and re-created as a defenseman, and entered the S3 draft. He was drafted seventh overall to the Vasteras IK. Overall his career was solid, with 574 games played and 328 points. Unfortunately for him, many people labeled him as a bust because of his high draft position. Sexy McSexington is among one of the greatest names this league has ever seen, and is an immediate contender for greatest name.
 
(S3) Heman Ho, D
 
Despite never playing a game in the VHL, Heman's importance in VHL history cannot be overstated. Heman Ho was the first ever player from the Scotty Anderson agency, and he was drafted to the Toronto Legion 13th overall in the S3 VHL draft. Anderson entered about 20 players in the VHL before getting banned, and Heman Ho was his first player. You can learn more about Scotty Anderson here. 
 
(S3) Lennowitcz Schwalkwinzz, D
 
When Schwalkinzz entered the VHL, he was originally a center, but he changed his position to defense midway through his career. He was picked 11th in the draft, and had a very productive career. He was drafted to Helsinki, and had 302 points over his 430 game career. He is one of the two defenseman that made up the legendary duo that was the Hebrew Hammers, who would shut you down in the defensive zone and could score on you in the offensive zone. He was notably clutch; with 39 points in 41 playoff games, and a championship in S8 with the Calgary Wranglers. 
 
(S5) McLovin, RW
 
McLovin was selected third in the S5 draft, and had a satisfactory career. While he didn't quite live up to expectations, his 460 points in 507 games, including over 300 assists, his time in the VHL was pretty successful. One reason his point total, specifically his goal total, may have been so low was because he switched to defense midway through his career. He was the S4 VHLM MVP, with 80 goals and 144 points.
 
 
(S7) Lazarus Hatzifotiou-Kyriakos, C
 
Lazarus Hatzifotiou-Kyriakos, also know as Layken Heidt, was a premier player in the VHL's second generation of players, with 616 points throughout his career with Riga. He made it to the finals four different times with Riga, and finished with one cup in his career. With 267 goals, 349 assists, and a +255 rating, he made the playoffs every year with Riga and is one of the greatest talents this league has ever seen. In Season 10, the finals went to an overtime in game 7, where the Riga Reign won the cup. In Season 12, the finals went to overtime in game 7 once again, but this time Riga was on the short end of the stick. Kyriakos career was legendary, and his epic name makes it even better.
 
(S10) Da'Brickashaw O'Neal, LW
 
His time in the VHL is best known through his big hits and his many penalty minutes, as he stacked up over 1,000 penalty minutes and 1,000 hits in just 265 games, which he mostly spent in Davos. He and his lesser known brother, Jartavius O'Neal, played on Davos in their continental cup run in S11. Da'Brickashaw O'Neal even had a son in the league, but it seemed to be a shortlived career. While O'Neal wasn't known for scoring, he was a certified grinder that would use the body and throw a lot of hits. O'Neal also holds the record for most penalty minutes in one season, with 356!
 
(S11) Earth Starchild, D
 
Very little is known about Earth Starchild. Besides having a great name, there are only three documents that have his name on it. He was taken 23rd in the draft to the New York Americans, and was the last pick from that draftclass. He ended up doing nothing in the VHL, and his only relevance was in an S10 trade that saw that pick being traded from Toronto to New York, with other minor pieces being moved around in that deal. Other than his great name, we know nothing about Starchild.
 
(S12) Virgil Quincey-McDienenberg, D
 
While the player may not have been as memorable, the member behind the player certainly is. @Edgar has been around for a long time, and is known by the older members of the community. He was the Toronto Legion GM and was also the maker of many mediocre players. His time in the VHLM will forever be remembered, in large part due to his trolling leading to many rule changes in the minor league. Virgil Quincey-McDienenberg won the cup with Helsinki in S15, but overall his player career wasn't very notable. The member behind the player is what makes this guy important to VHL history.
 
(S12) Somalian Tiger, LW
 
This is another player with very little impact on the VHL, similar to Earth Starchild. He was drafted 17th in the S12 draft to the Americans. In S18, Tiger was traded to Toronto for Rocky Stork, who was notable for his clutch playoff performance. Tiger's rights were traded three times throughout his VHL career, and the only remnants of his existence was in a "VHL best names thread" , where he was mentioned as one of the best names. Besides his name, we know hardly anything about Somalian Tiger.
 
(S13) Blocka DaPuck, G
 
Another player we know nothing about. The pre-S20 players are very tough to find information, because we don't have indexes before S20, and the old VHL website was taken down. The only thing we know about him is that he was taken 17th overall in the S13 draft, where the Legion picked him up. That, and also that he has a great name. 
 
(S15) Wu Tang Fan
 
To put it lightly, this guy sucked in his time in the VHL. He was taken 10th overall by the Reign, but signed with the Americans. In S20, he had one of the worst seasons in VHL history; a .840 save percentage, and a 6.98 GAA. Not much shade can be thrown due to his great name, but as a player, this guy was trash. 
 
(S16) Teatime McScones
 
Teatime McScones is most known for his time in the VHLM. After being taken 12th in the draft by the Wranglers, he spent his career in the minors, with his peak being in the S22 VHLM season. As a member of the Brampton Batallion, McScones stepped up in the S22 playoffs, a whole six seasons after his initial draft. He scored late in the first period of the deciding game four in the founders cup finals, which brought the game to within one heading into the locker room. The Batallion ended up winning 6-5 in game four to complete the sweep. McScones time in the VHLM wasn't very well remembered, but this single moment is his lone highlight.
 
(S18) Totes Magotes
 
This guy should be in the hall of fame simply for his name, but his very solid career help build his case. Taken ninth overall by Vasteras, he was traded to the Legion and had a 60 point season in S20. In S21, he found his way onto the Reign after being traded three times, and had another good year, with 57 points. Unfortunately in S22, he had a poor year, with only 20 points. This would be his last year in the VHL. He deserves to be in the hall. What a legend.

(S20) Fantastic McAwesome
 
My personal favorite name. After being taken 10th by the Americans, he lived up to his name. Despite a poor rookie year, his sophomore season saw him drop 77 points, including 52 assists. He had nearly 70 points in S24, and then a 50 point season in S25. He (somewhat) lived up to his name, with multiple good years in the league. One could say in S23, he was fantastic. He also was a part of the elite S19 Minot Gladiators of the VHLM. 
 
This is the first generation of great names in the VHL. The second generation consists of players in S20-S40, while the modern era is S41 to now. What was your favorite name? Check in two weeks from now for part two of the search for the greatest name in VHL history.
 
 
Thanks to @TheLastOlympian07 for his work on old time draft classes, which gave us a lot of the information used in this article
 

Whoa hey thanks lol, when I didn't see MORPHEUS as best dman in the Discord I assumed I wouldn't get an award or anything.
 
Thank you!

Even though Vegas wasn't very good this year, there were multiple individual performances this season that should be recognized. Let it be a seasonal tradition from now on. Welcome to the S66 Las Vegas Awards Show! We don't have any cringy jokes, and we won't have the award winners hold a burger.
 
Best Forward
 
Austin Fourier @speck1447
 
With 66 points this year, he found a way to light the lamp when the team struggled. His 22 goals and 44 assists were impressive, and his two way game was very prevalent. 50 blocked shots is a good total for a forward, and what is most impressive about his season was his plus minus. Las Vegas finished the year at -136, and yet Fourier still only had a -4. That is incredible.
 
Best Defenseman
 
Benson Van Roosen @Benson
 
Despite retiring this player and making a new player (Benson Kramer), Benson Van Roosen had a very successful year. With 60 points, his offensive game was put on display. He also led the team in blocked shots, with 174! That was the second most in the VHLM. It was a great season for Roosen, who hopes to continue his success with his new player.
 
Most Improved
 
RJ Lloris @RJMW
 
After joining on the week of May 5th, he has hit the 130 TPE mark, and is likely going to be one of the top picks heading into next seasons VHLM draft. He had 50 points on the season, a good amount. Next season, Lloris can be a force in the VHLM if he continues his improvement.
 
MVP
 
MORPHEUS DESTRUCTUS @Abaddon
 
Morpheus' impact on the ice isn't a question, his 373 hits were by far the highest total on the team, but surprisingly not the most in the league. He also had 237 Penalty Minutes, making his impact notable. His defense play and willingness to get down to block shots (137 SB) makes him the Team MVP. He also threatened to crush all my bones if I didn't give him this award, so that also helps his case.
 
 
Congrats to all winners! We will see you next year for the S67 awards show!
 
 

MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS
Defense
Hits: 337/30= 11.2
Blocked Shots: 137/20=6.85
19.05+3=22
20 TPE
 

 

Because you're trash

MORPHEUS will be with Malmo soon enough, and once he is the VHL will tremble as a whole.
 
(Also, thank you, MORPHEUS is a player I'm letting myself have fun with. After max earning in the SBA and endlessly test simming both builds and for my team as a gm it's nice to come over here and be a caveman that eats children.)

The Malmo Nighthawks first season is over and while the opening portion of our season was a shocking success, the rest of our season left a lot to be desired.  In reality, the result was expected as Malmo finished outside of a playoff position.  With that being said, it was a positive year for the team that saw a lot of its players performing and still sees no shortage of young talent on its way up.  For this lengthy article, I am going to look at my first draft as the Malmo Nighthawks.  I want to take a look at the Season 66 Dispersal Draft a year later and see how the group we drafted have been doing since.
 
7th Overall – Jerry Garcia [D] – Malmo Nighthawks – 390 TPE
The purely defensive Garcia had a fairly successful campaign with the Malmo Nighthawks.  It is generally pretty challenging to play in the VHL the year after being drafted, and even more-so for a defender who provides little offense.  Defensively he proved to be rather solid on the Expansion squad with 119 hits and 145 blocked shots.  While he was a -10, this was a pretty decent plus/minus considering he was on the second worst team in the league and played top minutes as someone who doesn’t offer much offense.  He did still finish with 31 points mainly due to some decent puck-moving and will continue to look to turn into a top two-way defender down the road.  There were some excellent players at seventh overall, and Garcia projects to be one of the best and is on pace to become a tremendous top pairing defender that Malmo can count on.
 
17th Overall – Rusty Shackleford [D] – Saskatoon Wild – 305 TPE
There is something about Malmo and shutdown defenders it seems.  Rusty Shackleford is a purely defensive defenseman that hits as much as he can in the defensive zone.  His season resulted in 56 points, 162 hits and 108 blocked shots to go along with a +21 rating on the much-improved Saskatoon Wild squad.  He is improving his skating and passing as the year goes on which could make him a similar player to what Garcia projects as.  In a league where top defensive defensemen can often make a team very tough to beat come playoff time, Shackleford will be a worthy addition to a defense that already features both Basaraba Moose and Jerry Garcia.  With his abundance in practicing since the draft, he looks like an excellent pick where I got him and I couldn’t be happier that I selected him.
 
37th Overall – Nacho [C] – Halifax 21st – 205 TPE
Nacho had an excellent sophomore season in the VHLM, recording 79 points in 72 games for Halifax.  This was a steep improvement from his 45 point rookie campaign that saw him get passed over in the first couple of rounds.  Nevertheless, Nacho has showed decent improvement for much of the season but has slowed down of late.  Much of his future potential will depend on whether or not he can get back to his previous practicing, but nevertheless he still projects as a jack-of-all-trades center who can fill in on either a second or third line.  If he starts improving his work ethic he could move his way up into a first line role while in his prime and a second line center until then.  Still a decent pick where he was selected to say the least.
 
38th Overall – Juan Jaundice [G] – Saskatoon Wild – 219 TPE
Jus is one of my favourite members in the league honestly.  He’s a great dude and his personality is literally the reason I was thrilled to select him with the thirty-eighth overall pick in the VHLM Draft.  After talking to him for the first time on Discord, I immediately took him two days later in the VHL draft just based off that interaction alone.  Jus has been living a bit of a busy life lately but is slowly improving and projects to be a solid netminder down the road.  Jaundice showed vast improvement in his sophomore season jumping from 34 to 50 wins, going from a .871 save percentage to .893 and improving his GAA from 3.7 to 2.62.  His development is probably not indicative of a future Hall of Fame goaltender or anything, but in a league that seems to be moving to just needing a solid goalie to win the Continental Cup, with consistent improvement he may become a good option down the road.  Add in a great teammate and member of our locker room and you have someone I am very proud to have on Malmo.
 
47th Overall – Blake Laughton [LW] – Ottawa Lynx – 206 TPE
When I took Blake Laughton at 47th overall I was pretty surprised to see him still available at that pick.  He was about the same amount of TPE as my previous two picks, but I suppose that showcases how deep this draft was.  Laughton is a goal-scoring power forward who played a key role in Ottawa’s success this season.  The young forward recorded 41 goals, 39 assists and 261 hits in 72 games this season.  He was a consistent offensive threat and someone who played the other team incredibly physically, making him one of the hardest players to play against in the minors.  This attitude will need to stay the same in order to continue his success, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that does happen.  Since the draft, Laughton has been solid when it comes to practicing and is projected to be a future top six winger in the near future.
 
57th Overall – Morpheus Destructious [D] – Las Vegas Aces – 176 TPE
What has become very clear since this draft is that Morpheus Destructious was the best player available when I took him with the 57th overall pick.  Others in his round like Clements, Hafkey and Clarke are still slightly higher in overall practice hours, but none of them have out-earned Destructious since the draft.  Additionally, no one taken after the great physical behemoth has earned more overall.  Destructious is a 6”8, 250 lb monster that possesses tremendous physicality and excellent defensive credentials.  Projecting as an old-school shut down defender ala Scott Stevens during his New Jersey years, Morpheus is banking on his consistent growth and development to serve him well as he moves up the professional ranks.  While he may not be up with Malmo next season, he has grown as much as any prospect on the Nighthawks, which is quite impressive given where he was taken.  Last season saw the defender record 27 points, 337 hits and 137 blocked shots as a key member of the Las Vegas Aces.  Sadly, while Morpheus did his job each and every night, his team struggled to win which put him in a very difficult position.  The aging defender projects as a future defensive second pairing defenseman and the Nighthawks certainly cannot wait for his arrival.
 
67th Overall – Eeli Harju [C] – Mexico City Kings – 81 TPE
While Harju has not worked out (not that I expected him to as he was inactive come draft time), I do take some solace in that I only missed out on one player that is still active.  Sadly it was a player that I had looked at for both of my last two picks in Thomas Kennedy, but nevertheless it’s not the end of the world either way.  Harju likely will be a career VHLM player as will the majority of those that were left.
 
77th Overall – Finn Theismann [D] – Houston Bulls – 54 TPE
This one actually kills me because it was literally between Finn and Kennedy (who now sits at 194 TPE) and I chose Finn.  While I know a lot of people have praise for my draft, I am someone that expects perfection and the fact that I chose Theismann over Kennedy will probably haunt me for a while.  Good for Seattle though cause that was one of the biggest steals ever if he keeps it up.  Nevertheless, not the end of the world that I didn’t hit here given that it was one of the last picks of the draft.
 
Draft Grades
Jerry Garcia -> A
Rusty Shackleford -> A
Nacho -> B
Jaundice -> B
Laughton -> B+
Destructious -> A-
Harju -> F
Theismann -> F
 
All in all, I think it was an excellent first dispersal draft for Malmo and it has helped set them up for years to come.  In addition to all these picks, we also traded for Blake Gaudette who was drafted 34th overall by Davos and will be playing on the Nighthawks this season.  He looks like another good one in the same vain as a Nacho or Laughton.  If everything works out, the Nighthawks should boast much of their core from this draft and given the already young crop they drafted in the Expansion Draft, Malmo has a lot to look forward to.  Given the history of Sweden in our great league, this is a welcome notion for the newest VHL franchise.
 

A couple weeks ago, @Renomitsu wrote an article which put together grades of each North American team's draft class, and at the end put this out there: 
 
 
I agreed to do this, but only on the condition that I did not grade Malmo. You see, I play for Malmo, and I wanted to be fair--I can easily see myself trying to be modest and calling Garcia a bust (which I don't think he is), and I can also see myself not wanting to be mean and giving all my teammates high praise, whether or not they deserved it. I feel that I can be objectively fair with the rest, though, especially since the last article made clear that the grades contained therein are meant to revolve around 5/10 being average. Not great, but certainly not as bad as 5/10 sounds in most contexts. 
 
If you're wondering about the Malmo grades, Renomitsu has written them up, and they'll be in this article as well
 
This article will take into account players' TPE as of the week ending June 2nd, so as to provide a picture consistent with that of the North American conference article, which was written on the 1st. I'll also do my best to grade players and teams in the same manner as the previous article, using the same metrics. And speaking of pictures consistent with those of the last article, here's one, shamelessly copied and pasted, and for my own reference just as much as yours...
 
*quik note: Renomitsu went through the trouble of calculating TPE and averages for players as of this week, so, while the Malmo numbers have been run with a greater sample size, it is my belief that the numbers present here provide a nice picture of things as well, and as these are the ones already available to my lazy ass, these are the ones which will be used.
 

 
So, anyway, PREPARE TO BE UNDERWHELMED! In no particular order...
 
HC Davos Dynamo

 
Draftees:
D Charlie Paddywagon (6th)
D Codrick Past (13th)
LW Chico Smeb (19th)
LW Blake Gaudette (34th)
D Hiromu Takahashi (43rd)
C Pascal Batz (44th)
G Wendy Kandee Cain (54th)
D Cody Parkey (64th)
C Shawn Michaels better than HHH (74th)
 
As the guy who was projected to be the first defenseman off the board by just about everyone (at least, just about everyone after I'd become the highest-TPE defenseman in the draft class), I thought I was going to Davos at #6. Sure, I'd written in Garcia to Malmo in my mock, but in the time between my posting and that of the draft results, I'd heard so much "Davos is picking a defenseman" around the league that I'd simply assumed that this would be the case. These being the facts of the matter, I was very surprised to see Charlie Paddywagon (@DMaximus) going to the team at #6--I'd projected Paddywagon to Davos at #13, and Garcia wasn't even off the board yet! Paddywagon's selection, however, proved to be not entirely questionable in this instance--his 71 TPE earned between the draft and the week ending June 2nd beats the average for the first round, and, in fact, actually beats out Garcia, who still leads the way in TPE by a week or so but earned 69 in the aforementioned period (I like to think I earned 69 on purpose).
 
In the second round, though, Davos' defensive pick leaves a bit to be desired, not necessarily in value but in placement. Codrick Past's (@Kylrad) TPE earnings amount to 51, a few below average, and as a welfare claimer, it appears that Past may have been a bit of a reach at #13. At the end of the second round, though, Davos made up the ground they lost by selecting Chico Smeb (@xDParK), a winger who fell all the way to #19 and who was easily the best player available as far as TPE is concerned. While Smeb's +59 is as far above the average as Past's +51 is below, Smeb is also a welfare claimer, and, though he consistently earns 10 TPE or more per week, could start to see his value drop off some if his peers become more competitive in the future. 
 
The fourth round proved quite eventful for the team, though not necessarily in the way general manager @ShawnGlade would have hoped. Davos selected winger Blake Gaudette (@Gaudette), who almost immediately requested a trade due to circumstances about which I do not know enough to attempt to explain. Gaudette was promptly traded to Malmo, and the jury is still absolutely out on which team won the trade as there is a "part 2" which is due to happen this coming offseason. Gaudette, however, was a solid pick in the mid-4th, as he's got a nice +71, far above the round's average. Though the trade hasn't yet been completed, Davos has received Malmo's 4th-round pick in the coming draft already, and it's been hinted that Malmo will be on the negative end of things in the second part, making Davos' return on the investment quite helpful.
 
Beyond the fourth, though, Davos' picks were a whole lot of not much. The team picked Hiromu Takahashi (@O4L) at #43, who hasn't claimed a single point since the week of April 28th. Following that up, they selected Pascal Batz (@efiug), a welfare claimer whose +37 is right around the round's average. Pick number 54 saw goaltender Wendy Kandee Cain (@SlashACM), once the top goaltender in the draft class and now the top retired goaltender in the draft class, while inactive Cody Parkey (@SaltyTalty) went at #64 and Shawn Michaels better than HHH (I blame Quik), a worthless test player, was selected at #74. 
 
Overall grade? Paddywagon ended up being a nice choice (though, for the moment, Garcia is still better). The second round's picks evened out to average. Gaudette was quite the steal and could end up being costly for Malmo in this mysterious part 2, but the team looks to have missed completely on every pick but perhaps Batz after that fact. 5/10.
 
 
Helsinki Titans

 
Draftees:
C Bert Meyers (15th)
C Ludvig Sederstrom (22nd)
C Jordan Tonn (29th)
D Guillaume Fontenette (30th)
C Rhys Chism (39th)
G Kolur Bjoernsson (49th)
D Duncan Jeffers (59th)
RW Sami Van Den Dreissche (69th)
LW Micheal Rassmussen (79th)
 
I had a feeling prior to the draft that Bert Meyers (@RunnerBert11) would fall some, as the teams who needed a center satisfied said needs with earlier picks, leaving Meyers to fall until he was far enough behind that not picking him would be a move worthy of great question. And he did, eventually being picked up by Helsinki (who, I'd imagine, was very happy to have a first-round talent, TPE-wise, fall to them in the second). Meyers actually improved at a rate greater than many first-rounders, as he recorded a very nice +90 by June 2nd and shows no signs of slowing down. 
 
The Titans' second pick, though, proved to be more of a miss than most GMs would like to see in the early third round, in Ludvig Sederstrom (@aleks). He was certainly active enough at the time of the draft to warrant a selection at #22--he was #20 in the TPE rankings. Since then, though, he's racked up a total of 17 TPE, whether we look at the week of June 2nd or today. Though aleks was my teammate last season in Houston, and I've seen enough in Discord to know he's busy rather than inactive, Sederstrom is still dangerously trending toward bust territory.
 
The team had to wait until the end of the third round to make any more picks, and there they drafted Jordan Tonn (@MexicanCow123) and Guillaume Fontenette (@okocha5). Tonn is +50, while Fontenette is +60--both above average for the round. In fact, since Meyers' TPE puts him inside the top 10 of the draft class, and the earn rate of Tonn and Fontenette averages out to just about your friendly neighborhood second round, Helsinki's choices so far would have earned them an only slightly below-average grade had they been mid-round picks an entire round higher. It gets even crazier when we look at Rhys Chism (@Jables), a scoring center who, to anyone who wasn't his teammate in Houston last season, came out of absolutely nowhere to become one of the more active members of the league this season, currently AGMing Houston (and, oh, look, he's got a +67 on top of that, managing to run right with the first-rounders' earn rate). All in all, an absolutely ridiculous first four rounds for the Titans.
 
After that point, the team's picks quieted down somewhat. Kolur Bjoernsson (@jblock3) is a +56 and a reliable welfare claimer, representing solid value at the 49th draft position. Bjoernsson could develop into a reliable backup for Alexander Pepper in a few seasons, but when Pepper is out the door, Bjoernsson, if he keeps claiming, will likely be far enough along that he's able to start in net for a few seasons in Helsinki. While it's a solid pick for now, time till tell if it develops into anything meaningful. Duncan Jeffers (@Tophdaddy), while he came back a couple weeks ago and claimed some, is still +18 and hasn't shown the greatest steal potential as of yet. It's my opinion that Sami Van Den Dreissche still may amount to something or other in the future--his agent, @TsarPeter, was a fairly active member, and a media spot guy at that, right up to mid-March, when he very suddenly went inactive after being named GM of Team Europe in World Juniors (will he ever know that he won gold? Maybe, maybe not). Whether he suddenly lost interest, or life got in the way for a bit, the interest was 100% there for a good while, making this +0 pick a potential steal in my mind.
 
The Titans actually managed to pick up a player who's been...around the site to some extent in the last round, and the only last-round selection who's been around the site to any extent, Thomas Kennedy aside--Micheal Rasmussen (@Connor mcdavid). He's been around VHL Discord recently, and though he's +10 as of the week of June 2nd, it should be noted that he's +12 between that point and now. He may be back, and Helsinki might have themselves a legitimate steal.
 
Overall grade? Amazing value with the first four out of five, even first five out of six, picks. The team may have whiffed in the sixth and seventh, but it's hard to count later-round picks against a team. Sederstrom aside (and we could see Sederstrom start picking up the points in the future, I don't doubt that), I'd argue that Helsinki may have had the best draft, value-wise. Not much quantity here, but @Quik still has quite a bit to look forward to with this class. 8/10 7/10, as Rhys Chism just announced that he'll be leaving for a while.
 
 
Moscow Menace

 
Draftees:
LW Dmitri Volosenkov (5th)
C Jet Jaguar (10th)
G Owen May (11th)
D Beau Buefordsson (21st)
LW Edgar Tannahill (25th)
RW Mat Tocco (31st)
D Edward Vigneault (33rd)
RW Emil Passerelli (35th)
RW AJ Axelsen (41st)
LW Devin Gabella (50th)
D Dean Clarke (51st)
D Papa Gage (60th)
LW David Clarkson (61st)
D Srraxxarrakex II (70th)
D DWin Championship (71st)
D Fabius Adomaitis (80th)
 
Well, here I'm stuck sorting through half of Toronto's picks--Moscow ended up with Toronto's first-round pick, as well as every Toronto pick from the fifth round to the last. In terms of quantity, the Menace did great, but this isn't about quantity, it's about quality. But since we've got quantity, buckle up, as this might take a while.
 
Anyway, to start things off, Moscow picked up winger Dmitri Volosenkov (@SirRupertBarnes). Though Volosenkov is +68, beating the average by a few, he's been more or less a welfare claimer, and sometimes not even a welfare claimer, in recent memory, and though he's still on every week to claim a few things, has seen his activity drop off to some extent lately, making his progress something to watch and indeed a concern should the trend continue. By stark contrast, though, the team's second pick, Jet Jaguar (@gorlab) has arguably been their MVP this season, producing at (maybe) ROTY-level after somehow falling to the end of the first round. Jaguar's also +100 between the draft and the week of June 2nd, and as one of the league's resident sig gods, will most definitely be around at this level for a good while, and may end up the face of the franchise in a season or two, if he isn't already. A case could have been made for him at #5, even, as he was only 4 TPE behind Volosenkov at the time of the draft, so it's a surprise that he fell as far as he did and I'm sure @Victor doesn't mind.
 
The Menace kicked off the second round by selecting goaltender Owen May, to the surprise of not many. May, at first just about universally projected to go to Malmo at #7, rapidly became the consensus pick for Moscow, who fulfilled the expectations of most by picking him up at #11. Throughout S65, May climbed the goaler rankings, surpassing the likes of Wendy Kandee Cain and Clayton Park to become easily the top goaltender in the draft class. He's +68 by my standards, making his earn rate right up there with the first-rounders. @FacebookFighter has also since proved himself to be one of the team's foremost leaders, creating a Discord locker room, asking press conference questions, and being named AGM of the team, demonstrating his value off the ice as well as on it. 
 
...And here's where I get to call Beau Buefordsson a bust again, much to the dismay of my own AGM, @Radcow. Though I can attest to his dedication, enthusiasm, activity, and value as my own AGM, and I can confidently state that he will one day make a great GM (take note, commissioners!), his player, Beau Buefordsson, is a bit of a different story. Buefordsson went above the cap prior to the draft with a burst of activity that may have helped his draft stock. He's actually +46 between the draft and the week of June 2nd, above the third-round average, but only claimed trivia that week and hasn't claimed a single point since, raising questions about his value to the team. The same can be said of Edgar Tannahill (@gregreg), a league vet whose business with the league, as I understand it, goes way back--he's one of the all-time longest-tenured GMs, and in fact the all-time losingest (I don't care if that's not a word, it was the best way to put it), as we learned from a trivia question last season. Tannahill was drafted 25th overall, after writing a few articles exhibiting his great desire to be called up to the VHL if possible, as well as to be picked up by Moscow. The latter happened, though the former didn't, as Tannahill currently sits in San Diego. Though Greg may be back in it at some point in the future, Tannahill is +12 and hasn't claimed since mid-May.
 
Here's also where I get to make up for my undervaluing of Mat Tocco (@Matmenzinger) in my mock draft, as well--he's +53, well above the fourth-round average, and though the fact that he gave up a good amount to stay down likely made him slip a bit in the draft itself, Moscow came away with a solid, active forward prospect with this pick. The fourth round contained two other Moscow picks, in fact--defenseman Edward Vigneault (@Patpou22) and forward Emil Passerelli (@SparrowLTD). Vigneault is +42, and steadily earning around 6-10 TPE a week as a welfare guy, while it appears that the team may have missed out on Passerelli (and, meanwhile, Halifax may have hit a gold mine for next season). The winger currently sits at 198 TPE, and his agent last visited the site over a month ago, making him, by the league's definition, inactive. 
 
The team began hitting on their picks again in the fifth round, picking up AJ Axelsen (@littleboi), a +74 forward who's been consistently active, getting into media spot writing a bit, being active on Discord, and developing at a nice rate. They also managed to pick up Devin Gabella (@Gabella19), who's +44 and currently sits at exactly 200 TPE. He's a welfare guy, but does do more than the bare minimum and has been developing consistently. Dean Clarke (@Kyle), selected at #51, is also +44, but he's a league vet and former first-overall choice, and figures to bring some valuable experience to the team. 
 
After this point, there's not a whole lot to be seen from this draft class. David Clarkson (@Jacob Kundrat), who's +41 and has been earning TPE mostly in increments of 6 as a welfare-and-practice-facility claimer, stands out as the only active member out of the rest--Srraxxarrakex II (@flan, someday I'll learn to spell that), DWin Championship (@Award97), and Fabius Adomaitis (@Claire, this draft's Mr. Irrelevant as the last selection) have all gone inactive. 
 
Overall grade? A few good choices. Jaguar, May, Tocco, and Axelsen all come to mind, but all things considered, there were more misses than there should have been. Volosenkov has underproduced for a #5 overall, the third round was one big swing and a miss, and it's likely up for debate whether or not most other players picked will amount to anything. 4/10.
 
Riga Reign

 
Draftees:
C Hunter Hearst Helmsley (1st)
RW Mikko Aaltonen (4th)
D Aron Nielsen (8th)
RW Arnor Sigurdsson (9th)
D Apollo Hackett (16th)
RW Aleksander Rodriguez (24th)
D Anthony Amberback (36th)
D Samuel Sparrow (46th)
G Sunny Burst (56th)
D Titus Stone (66th)
C Charles Alderson (76th)
 
I'm in love with the management practices of @hedgehog337 leading up to this season--not only did he make Riga one of the top teams in the league, but he managed to amass a veritable arsenal of picks in the draft, coming away with four (yes, one, two, three, and four) first-round picks (and, oh, by the way, this was after trading up to #1 overall). Riga surprised absolutely nobody by using that pick to take Hunter Hearst Helmsley (@Beaviss), who racked up 125 points in Yukon last season and has already broken 550 TPE (Beav is on record as having said that he aims to get Helmsley to 99 in every stat, so we'll see if that happens. It would take quite a bit of updating, as well as breaking the all-time record by over 500--getting every stat up to 99 requires 2,220 TPE, and that's before depreciation. But it is HHH, after all). Anyway, HHH has produced this season (he's also +92, by the way), putting up 50 points on a team with a good amount of depth, making this look like a nice choice for Riga so far. 
 
The next pickup of the first round was winger Mikko Aaltonen (@GRZ). Aaltonen is +65, or just about average for the first round. The fact that he only managed to put up 34 points this season could call his value into question, but we also have to remember that he's playing on one of the league's deeper teams, and could move up the chart in future seasons if he remains active. A look at his update log shows that while he claims welfare, he maxes out otherwise, making him, while not the ideal first-round pick, a pick with potential to play an important role. The same not-ideal-first-roundiness can be applied to defenseman Aron Nielsen, the third defenseman out of this draft's "big three" to be selected in the first round. While @solas has reached the Hall of Fame twice, he doesn't appear to be able to devote 100% of his time to the league as of late--as someone who knows his way around Gimp, he's done graphics, but only just graphics, the past couple weeks, and he's +51 in the timeframe being used here. While this is hardly a concern, Nielsen is also not quite living up to the expectations of a first-rounder and will not likely live up to his agent's reputation. The first round actually wasn't full of a whole lot of wonderful picks for Riga, as Nielsen was followed right up with Arnor Sigurdsson (@bluesfan55), who's +38 and a welfare claimer as of late, in much the same way as Aaltonen.
 
The second round brought about Apollo Hackett (@Renomitsu, who I've tagged absolutely nowhere else in this article), a defenseman who emerged late in the season to become (after a hiatus or two) one of the league's more active members. Hackett is +90 in the timeframe given, and +34 in the two weeks since, and though Renomitsu leads a busy life which should be expected to get busier soon, he's got that covered with media spot claims running into September. The third then brought Aleksander Rodriguez (@Jtv123), the second overall draft choice in the VHLM this season. Rodriguez does all right TPE-wise--though only +36, he's earned 10 or more TPE per week recently, and while claiming welfare, does more than the minimum and has demonstrated his enthusiasm for the league in the past, so we can't write him off at all. 
 
The Reign decided on defenseman Anthony Amberback (@Oost) in the fourth round, and here we have another pick who has, so far, been somewhat of a disappointment. He's +32 and did a nice job in the weeks immediately following the draft, but quickly dropped out of the picture as he currently sits at 196 TPE. Being a member of the Saskatoon Wild, it's possible, though remotely so, that Oost is planning on staying in the minors another season, though he does happen to be giving up quite a few points in doing so. Another defenseman with much the same story was selected in the fifth, that being Samuel Sparrow (@Birdman), an old Houston teammate of mine. Sparrow is +29 and hasn't updated since the week of May 29th. At 183 TPE, also, he could end up in San Diego for another couple of seasons if his inactivity turns out to be "not just a phase, mom."
 
We see the same story yet again in the next round, when the Reign selected goaltender Sunny Burst (@Sunburst). I thought this was a great pickup at the time of the draft--Burst had shown more activity in the offseason, had done a few solid-looking (at least by my standards) graphics, and appeared to be on the road to activity. This was not to be, though, as his last update also came during the week of May 12th, and the goaler's +26 may end up being all he ever gets. The last two picks here are no different, as defenseman Titus Stone (@MD9) and center Charles Alderson (@kithoo) may be long gone from league business.
 
Overall grade? I think Hedge is a great GM, far better than I am. Most of his picks, at the time of the draft, I thought were good ones, and had I written up a review then, Riga would have received a pretty nice grade from me. The only picks which have stood out as good ones, though, are Helmsley and Hackett, and Helmsley's selection involved no real deliberation on the matter, as he is and was indisputably the best player of the draft class. The rest, in general, form a sea of players who are at best average and at worst just downright ugly. I hate to do this, but: 3/10, and I even strongly considered giving Riga a 2. 
 
 
And now, a set of grades written by @Renomitsu himself...
Malmo Nighthawks

Draftees:
D Jerry Garcia
D Rusty Shackleford
G Juan Jaundice
C Nacho
LW Blake Gaudette
LW Blake Laughton
D MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS
C Eeli Harju
D Finn Theismann
 
The Malmö Nighthawks started this season as remarkably as any expansion team in VHL history. Through twelve games they were 9-3, with important victories over second-seeded Riga and a heartbreaking 1-0 loss to the runaway Victory Cup lock for this season in the Helsinki Titans. They had strong victories over New York, Toronto, Vancouver, and Moscow early on, suggesting a reasonable shot at the playoffs. Their hot streak eventually came to an end and they were eliminated from the playoffs, but Malmö’s early success can be attributed to a strong Expansion and Entry draft class, the latter of which we’ll investigate now.
 
Our S66 expansion team started by drafting defenseman Jerry Garcia @GustavMattias seventh overall – and the second of three consecutive defenders to go in the first round between Charlie Paddywagon to Davos and Aron Nielsen to Riga. Garcia has contributed wonderfully to the Nighthawks as a relatively pure defender; he’s tenth overall in shots blocked (140 through 70 games) but firstamong rookies, putting him in good company like Tzuyu, Samuel Gate, and Robert Malenko. As one of only four defensemen on the team, he gets first-line minutes both at even strength and on PK lines – which means he’s often up against players with twice his TPE. Since the last rankings, he’s gone from 286 to 373 TPE, which makes Malmö’s investment in him perfectly justified. He’s earned a little more than most first rounders (87 vs. first-round average of 80.2), so Malmo GM @Advantage should be happy with this pick.
 
Malmö’s second-round selection and defenseman Rusty Shackleford @K1NG LINUS has out-earned even Garcia (94 vs. second-round average of 72) while contributing a +20 plus-minus with Saskatoon in the VHLM this season. He’s been among the more point-productive defenders in the minors as well, with 46 assists in 65 games, and also contributes plenty of hits (152) and shots blocked (95). We’re two-of-two so far for the Nighthawks before moving on to the team’s three fourth-round picks.
 
Strangely enough, all five of Malmö’s mid-to-late round picks were hits as well – among them fellow Saskatoon Wild teammate G Juan Jaundice @Jus, Halifax teammates C Nacho @Nacci25 and LW Blake Gaudette @Gaudette, Ottawa’s winger Blake Laughton @Grape, and titan-like MORPHEUS DESTRUCTIOUS @Abaddon. Jaundice and Nacho above-average for their draft position (+51 and +47 respectively, +41 round average) by a handful of points – a positive sign for a team with a goalie just hitting his prime and only 3 or 4 active forwards. Nacho has contributed valuable second-line minutes to his minors team and while his earning has slowed down somewhat, he’s nonetheless a promising prospect to get third- or even second-line minutes over the next couple of seasons. Jaundice, on the other hand, is currently the winningest goalie in the minors and has pitched 7 shutouts (T-2nd). He’s been middle-of-the-road in save % and goals against on average, but stats tend to compress in the minors. Malmö’s fifth-rounder, LW Blake Laughton, has been similarly above-average for his round (+55 vs. 46 round average) and will graduate to the majors this upcoming season. Should he stay active, he’ll probably get second- or third-line minutes alongside Halifax teammate Nacho.
 
The team’s last fourth-rounder in Gaudette and sixth-rounder in DESTRUCTIOUS have been major boons for the Malmö drafting committee. Gaudette (+81 vs. 41 round average) and DESTRUCTIOUS (+84 vs. 40.6 round average) have blown expectations out of the water, doubling their fellow draftees’ earnings. At present, neither is starter- or high-second-line worthy, but their performances in the minors and first-round-draftee style earning potential makes for a very promising future for the Nighthawks.
 
In draft rankings, it’s pretty hard to count seventh- and eighth-round draft picks against teams, since their TPE increases are usually pretty minimal (11 for 7th round, 16 for 8th round due to one outlier). C Eeli Harju and D Finn Theismann have essentially ghosted the Nighthawks since draft day, and it’s unlikely they’ll make the majors any time soon.
 
Draft Grade: 9/10. Malmö hit on all of their high- and mid-round picks, which is more than any other team can say – their pickups have arguably been even more impressive than Vancouver or Riga.
 
 
Word count: 
-3,900-some for me, I doubt I'll ever go 4 weeks without writing a media spot, but should I decide to over the next four weeks, here it is. I believe this is also my 666th post maniacal laughter intensifies
-721 for Renomitsu, who (should those in charge of these things agree) can add a week on to an already massive list of stuff to claim for the future if he so desires.
 

deadass did not even realize there was a search bar

No mention of the Single Season VHLM PIM record holder smh

MORPHEUS CARES NOT FOR LEAGUES, MORPHEUS CARES FOR TURNING YOUR COLLARBONE INTO A LADELL AND USING IT TO SPOON OUT YOUR INNARDS.

Case Martell: Chasing The 1K Club
 
Recently, I read an article by @Jubo07 regarding Julian Borwinn eclipsing the 1000 TPE mark. Congratulations, Jubo! I thought to myself, "That's what I want. That!" For years, and I mean literal years, I have watched the VHL from afar. I've watched it grow through sixty seasons of history not as a fringe member on the sidelines, not in the stands, but as a community member just on the outside. In the time I've watched from a distance, I could have had multiple careers here. Several. In the end, something always cut the interest before it even took off. I've always had an interest in the VHL, but never enough to know how to engage in a sport that just hasn't hit the mark for me. I attend Lightning games. I enjoy them. I'm just not passionately involved in the game like I am football and I'm not a smark for statistics in the sport like I am in basketball. I just don't know the sport well enough to dive in and apply myself in this league. Until now.
 
What I do know is sim leagues. I know them very well. It's hard not to understand them, really. Do a task, earn a point, update attribute. It's very easy. With the ever-expanding partnership between the SBA, EFL and the VHL, it's never been easier to partake in all of them at the same time. Why haven't I taken advantage of that? I don't know. So, let's go. I consider today the day I begin chasing that 1K club. Not just to hit a number of emphases, but to prove to myself I can apply myself in the VHL in a long, meaningful way. If I hit 1,000 TPE, I can guarantee the experience I have along the way will be well worth it.
 
What I expect to happen is that I will learn to love the sport. I'll learn the sport, in general. I'll grow to appreciate the details behind the surface level entertainment of it. I think player sports simulations are interesting in that we're all playing pretend sports characters, but there is some surprising good that can come from them. You can really improve your work as a designer through endless weeks of sig work and iteration. You can really fine-tune your ability to write after seasons and years of crafting stories. You can also really improve your knowledge of a sport like I plan to do here.
 
Additionally, I think player sim leagues are a really good way to build friendships with people you'd otherwise never meet in your life. Over the years I have been in sim leagues, I have managed to make some quality sim friends. I have a long history with some of the biggest names across the entire three-league partnership. I used to shoot the shit and get creative with Molholt long before the SBA. I made friends with Turner years before I practically dragged him back into the sim community to run the EFL for me. I go way back with Godfather Beketov. I've become real-life friends with mwhazard following a simple Duke recruiting letter two years ago. You never know who you're going to run into, what you're going to have in common and how much of a relationship you'll develop with people in these things. My hope for this run with my newest player, Case Martell, is to surround myself with some quality dudes, get engaged in some quality locker rooms and see where things take me.
 
That's what I'm here for. That's the byproduct of chasing the K club to me, so here goes nothing.
 
1,000 Total Points Earned.
 
Challenge Accepted.

No, he just eats children and souls with a side of tiny man bones