a few of my thoughts

[hylands 842]

i’ve never written anything like this in my time in the league. i’m usually writing little .com articles in character, or doing graphics, or having a laugh with my good friends on 3ppao. i guess there just hasn’t been much that i would consider worthy of blabbing on about. however, as the season gets closer and closer to starting again, i find myself reflecting a little bit.

 

malmo’s championship run this past season was what dreams are made of. if you had asked me before the season started what my expectations were, i would have said “i’d like to make the playoffs without the need for a wildcard round”. boy, was i blown out of the water. things started off well, and after a slight dip in performance, which i addressed with a trade for @fromtheinside we never looked back. we just kept winning and the team grew more and more confident as the wins piled up. seeing the locker room transform from what it was in seasons prior, (which i’m sure any gm of a team not expected to do well knows exactly what that’s like) into what felt like one of the best team environments i’ve been a part of, it was amazing to see. 

 

that run culminated in a tremendous victory cup, which we won quite handedly, and ultimately a continental cup that made things oh so much sweeter. the playoffs had me way more anxious than i care to admit! a huge shoutout to @GustavMattias, @dlamb, and @Banackock for building outstanding teams that nearly pushed us over the edge to our demise. i actually couldn’t believe that we had managed to pull off the victory. it was not something i had ever pictured for malmo so soon into my tenure.

 

that brings me to now. we’re on the other side of all of that, and i feel extremely satisfied with the work i’ve done in such a short time. i can’t take full credit, @FrostBeard set everything in motion way back before i even took control of the team. however, finding some amazing players in the draft, at the positions that we had, is something that i am extremely proud of. i’ve been blessed with not only amazing players, but amazing people too. building a team of people that motivate each other to be their best is probably what i love the most about this, and i couldn’t be happier with the squad that i have today.

 

having said all that, i think this ship has run its course. i got into gming with the ultimate goal of winning a cup. that’s all. i never wanted to be hall of fame worthy, or to be remembered by everyone as one of the greatest of all time. i’m sure every person who has aspired to be a gm can relate. maybe you dreamed of more cups and more glory, but everyone just wants to win! i wanted to make my mark, prove to myself that i could do it, and hopefully make a positive impact on the players i acquired to do that with, and i did it. 

 

so i’m sitting here wondering, what more is there for me here. or better yet, what more can i contribute to the league and my team as a gm? and i’m struggling to come up with an answer. i’m not saying flat out that i’m done just yet, but the time seems right. it feels unfair for me to stay in a position where i won’t be fully committed. and to be taking that opportunity away from one of the deserving up and coming gms just doesn’t sit well with me. day in, day out i see the passion and drive that the other gms bring. not only about their teams, but also about the league as a whole. 

 

maybe i’m a little burnt out. i’ve been going pretty steady at this for the better part of a year and a half, and i’m sure many of you can relate, it starts to take a toll on you eventually. i’m not too keen on running myself into the ground and making things worse than they really need to be. i still enjoy building players, and i cherish the small community i’ve surrounded myself with. like i said, this is not a resignation just yet, but the thought is on my mind. i thought it would be beneficial to get these thoughts down and maybe generate some discussion on things i’ve touched on.

 

anyways, that’s about it. thanks for taking the time out of your day to get a glimpse at my inner monologue.

[Banackock 7,989]

You do you. You did great last season but as you said, don’t push yourself so hard that it ruins it for you.

 

Well done once again. I gladly would share GMOTY with you!  

[Beaviss 4,956]

Gm's all getting burnt out  

I feel your pain and I held on way longer than I should have and it ruined my VHL experience for awhile. If you have to take a break its 100% worth it and don't hang on longer than you need to. I regret not stepping back from my roles earlier because I left messier than I should have. 

Here's hoping you can stick around

[Banackock 7,989]

5 minutes ago, Beaviss said:

I left messier than I should have. 

 

Canuck fans.. 

[fromtheinside 1,289]

For what it's worth, you are a huge reason I am so keen on being in Malmo. You bring a kind and chill positive reinforcement to the LR and really made me feel at home immediately upon arriving mid-season last year after the trade. I totally get the feeling of "now what?" You've reached the pinnacle, and in a relatively short amount of time too! 

 

I know things can feel stagnate over time and its hard to stay motivated. You should totally only carry on if that's what makes you happy, but I think I speak for everyone in the LR when I say Malmo is a much better place with hylands at the helm.

[ColeMrtz 574]

Having the passion for it is what makes it all worth it, you brought an energy to that lockeroom every day that I could only dream of matching. Ultimately only you can know when the time is right for you to step away, but you’ve been a hell of a GM for Malmo and no matter what you’ve left your mark on this team. Best of luck to you with whichever decision you make, I’m glad I got to play for you.

[Gustav 6,325]

I always love me a good honest reflection piece. 

 

This lovely little thing called self-reflection is a great quality to have as a GM. I've seen many people--myself included at one point, so no, this is not me looking down on others--stick with GMing because they want to keep the prestige attached to the role and hate the idea of losing that more than they like the idea of being devoted to a team and actually living up to that prestige. Which sucks for the GM, the team, and the community. It's refreshing to see someone being open about their role and having a realistic sense of what's going on.

 

Whether you decide to stay or go, I appreciate that your decision is informed and comes from a place of good reasoning. Congrats on the cup win--Malmo has done great things so far and will no doubt keep that up for a while.

[zepheter 586]

Taking a break was the best thing I did. I only truly took a break for one season, but the time off was much more refreshing than I had initially thought. It's like any other video game, sport, job, etc. You're almost guaranteed to burn out no matter how much you love to do it. At the end of the day you should do what's best for you. No shame in that.

[BOOM 8,660]

[youloser1337 1,089]

If the LR was anything like the S75 Mexico City cup run, it must have been popping. @hylandsyou are amazing. Do whatever you think works!  I'm always here if you need to rant

[bigAL 2,176]

Man, I’m glad you’re able to celebrate everything you’ve done here. You killed it in the M, moved to the bigs and brought that same winning culture to the VHL. Championships are huge, but people rave about playing in Mexico and Malmo, and that’s even more a reflection on how great a person you are. We’re lucky to have you as long as we do, however long that is. 
 

And if that means a break, that’s okay. If GMing a VHL team is more than you want to do, there’s always the World Cup or other off-season tourneys if you need to scratch that management itch every now and then. 
 

Do what you gotta do to be happy. We’re all on the same team here, and all us coloured roles folk ride that same rollercoaster of energy and give a shit. I’m glad you’ve got your gang here you can lean on for fun and advice, and make sure to use your GMs and blues too. Everyone’s felt this way before, and everyone handled it differently. Do what you gotta do to be happy buddy  

[.sniffuM 1,741]

wait this guy's active??

[animal74 1,761]

On 9/23/2021 at 4:58 AM, .sniffuM said:

wait this guy's active??

He sure is!

 

@hylands You're there every morning in the LR to welcome us to a new day full of possibilities and dubs. You have been the perfect GM and molded the Nighthawks into your persona (online at least!) - calm, collected, positive, and competitive. Without you, there would be no S79 Continental Cup Championship for Malmo. Others may have laid some ground work but you added the right pieces to turn us into the best. I selfishly hope you stay a bit and whatever we can do to lessen the load, let us know. But, you come first and this is just a game so do what you need to do. Know that your Nighthawks are behind you 100% (Pleeeease stay - #guilttrip)