18th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards – S83

[DMaximus 1,045]

18th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards – S83

Another exciting regular season has come to a close. That means we can dole out some regular season awards! Welcome everyone to the 18^th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards honoring the highs and lows of S83! Thank you to everyone that reads this.

 

These awards have been created by me. There is no voting process and they are not officially recognized by the VHL Board of Governors. I wrote descriptions for most of these award names in the original award post.

 

For each award, I list the winners from the last 5 seasons. If you want to check out the award winners from every season, use this link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sAZtX3bxVpPTIsKe1rSRVOenH1-iyWzbQEdR9ZvYOdU/edit?usp=sharing

 

I also document the “all-time” record for each category. Of course, by that I mean all-time for the existence of these awards, not all-time, all-time. Clear? Ok, good. Let’s get things underway!

 

 

The Pylon Award (worst +/- rating) – Barron Kruulenstien @LefLop 

 

An interesting battle for this award saw players from three different teams competing for the award. Barron Kruulenstien held off challengers from New York (Gary Tarantino II @Garrett )  and Vancouver ( Ryan Li @Ryan Li) to win this award with a -66, how cruel.  

 

All-time record: S82 – creed -  -156

 

Last 5 Pylon Award Winners:

Season	Player	+ / -
S83	Barron Kruulenstien	-66
S82	creed	-156
S81	chris foley	-96
S80	Nathan Steele	-77
S79	Jared Carter	-49

 

 

 

The Gandhi Award (least penalty minutes, min 1,000 minutes played) – Mason Jones @Masu Chan 

 

Mason Jones built a solid season accruing only 2 PIM in 2,146 minutes played. This was enough to win the award in a tie-breaker over Harkat Mulds @hylands, who also recorded 2 PIM, but in fewer minutes played (2,071) than Jones.

 

We don’t recognize bots at this award ceremony, but if we did β-CGY LW2 would have taken this award with 0 PIM in 1,143 minutes played.

 

All-time record: S81 - Brendan Telker - 0 PIM, 2211 Minutes Played

 

Last 5 Gandhi Award Winners:

Season	Player	PIM	Minutes Played
S83	Mason Jones	2	2146
S82	Omi Aberg	2	2132
S81	Brendan Telker	0	2211
S80	Jakob Sosa	0	2052
S79	The Terrible Trivium	0	2084

 

 

 

The Major² Award (most major penalties) - Brian Payne @Scurvy 

 

Rookie Brian Payne announced their presence to the league by recording 11 majors in their first season. All 11 majors were fisticuffs.

 

All-time Record: S77 – Randy Marsh - 14 Majors

 

Previous Major² Award Winners:

Season	Player	Major Penalties
S83	Brian Payne	11
S82	Owen Taylor	12
S81	Magnus Verlander	9
S80	Julian Nousiainen	10
S79	Henry Tucker	11

 

 

 

The Timex Award (received most hits) – Saku Kotkakoivu @DollarAndADream  

 

To score as many points as Saku Kotkakoivu scored this season, you going to have to take some hits. Saku took more hits than anyone in the league, 346 to be exact.

Oh, and there’s no need to leave the stage, Saku, because…

 

All-time Record: S82 – Bogdan Trunov - 408 Hits taken

 

Last 5 Timex Award Winners:

Season	Player	Hits Taken
S83	Saku Kotkakoivu	346
S82	Bogdan Trunov	408
S81	Lester Green	381
S80	Asher Reinhart	360
S79	Dakota Lamb	310

 

 

 

The John Wayne Award (most shots on goal) - Saku Kotkakoivu @DollarAndADream  

 

You won this award too! Saku fired 692 shots on goal this season.

Oh, and there’s no reason to leave the stage, Saku, because…

 

All-time record: S82 – Jerome Reinhart - 713 Shots on goal

 

Last 5 John Wayne Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots on Goal
S83	Saku Kotkakoivu	692
S82	Jerome Reinhart	713
S81	Jerome Reinhart	711
S80	Asher Reinhart	637
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	614

 

 

 

The “Hit the Broadside of the Barn” Award (most own shots blocked) - Saku Kotkakoivu @DollarAndADream  

 

You won this award too! Saku took this one home with 189 of their shots blocked.

Oh, and there’s no reason to leave the stage, Saku, because…

 

All-time record:  S81 – Jerome Reinhart - 204 Own shots blocked

 

Last 5 HtBotB Award Winners:

Season	Player	Own Shots Blocked
S83	Saku Kotkakoivu	189
S82	Taylor Mourning	195
S81	Jerome Reinhart	204
S80	Asher Reinhart	169
S79	Groovy Dood	165

 

 

 

The “Can’t Hit the Broadside of the Barn” Award (most own shots missed) – Saku Kotkakoivu @DollarAndADream  

 

You won this award too! Saku took this one home with 509 of their shots missing the net. Saku won all three “shot” awards, congratulations! Celebrate in your own way, possibly by taking 3 shots of your favorite beverage, in a responsible manner.

 

All-time record: S81 – Jerome Reinhart - 532 Shots missed

 

Last 5 CHtBotB Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots Missed
S83	Saku Kotkakoivu	509
S82	Jerome Reinhart	489
S81	Jerome Reinhart	532
S80	Asher Reinhart	455
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	433

 

 

 

The New Shin Pads Award (most blocked shots) – Barron Kruulenstien @LefLop 

 

Barron continues the trend set by creed last season by winning both the Pylon award and the Shin Pads award. Barron won this by blocking 261 shots, which would have been an all-time high if not for the insanity from creed last season.

 

All-time record: S82 – creed - 460 Shots blocked

 

Last 5 New Shin Pads Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots Blocked
S83	Barron Kruulenstien	261
S82	creed	460
S81	Artair McCloud	237
S80	Chicken Wing	235
S79	Han Jae Kuk	242

 

 

The Tired Legs Award (most minutes played) - Rhys Trenton @DeeGoat 

 

Rhys led the league with 2,374 minutes on the ice. That’s an average of 32.98 minutes per game!

 

All-time record: S82 – Chicken Wing – 2,512 Minutes played

 

Last 5 Tired Legs Award Winners:

Season	Player	Minutes Played
S83	Rhys Trenton	2374
S82	Chicken Wing	2512
S81	Artair McCloud and Ryan Vidot	2469
S80	Chicken Wing	2333
S79	Han Jae Kuk	2343

 

 

 

The Snap! Award (most power play minutes) - Battre Sandstrom @Acydburn 

 

Battre Sandstrom brought this award back to the family (it was won by Onde Sandstrom in S77). Battre spent 339 minutes on the power play.

 

All-time record: S79 - Muffbeav - 454 power play minutes

 

Last 5 Snap! Award Winners:

Season	Player	PP Minutes
S83	Battre Sandstrom	339
S82	Tyler Reinhart	397
S81	Bogdan Trunov	397
S80	Scotty Kaberle	391
S79	Muffbeav	454

 

 

 

The 1 vs. 100 Award (most time on penalty kill) - Zeedayno Chara @Jubis 

 

Zeedayno said yes when asked to kill penalties. They were killing penalties for 340 minutes this season. Enough to lead the league and claim this award.

Oh and there’s no need to leave the stage, Zeedayno, because…

 

All-time record: S79 - Gustislav Nasherov - 447 penalty kill minutes

               

Last 5 1 vs. 100 Award Winners:

Season	Player	PK Minutes
S83	Zeedayno Chara	340
S82	Hulk Hogan 2	359
S81	Sven Eightnine	319
S80	Sven Reikkinen	346
S79	Gustislav Nasherov	447

 

 

 

The Sean Archer Award (highest face-off win %, min 1,000 faceoffs) – Zeedayno Chara @Jubis 

 

You won this award too! Zeedayno must have spent his nights practicing face-offs because they posted one of the best all-time seasons for face-offs by winning 63.17% of their 2,900 face-offs. The best performance we’ve seen since the all-time record was set in S74 by Brock Louth.

 

All-time record: S74 - Brock Louth - 63.72% face-offs won

               

Last 5 Sean Archer Award Winners:

Season	Player	Face Off Pct
S83	Zeedayno Chara	63.17%
S82	Pistil Stamen	62.10%
S81	Aloe Dear	60.70%
S80	Dakota Lamb	60.66%
S79	Pistil Stamen	59.00%

 

 

 

The Castor Troy Award (lowest face-off win %, min 1,000 faceoffs) - Gregory Bates @Tyler 

 

Gregory Bates had a rough go at it in the face-off circle this season. They won a league low 31.86% of their face-offs. Unfortunately for HC Davos, they didn’t really have anyone else to help out with face-offs. Three of their players occupied the bottom 5 spots in face-offs won.

 

All-time record: S79 - Gustislav Nasherov – 29.60% face-offs won.

               

Last 5 Castor Troy Award Winners:

Season	Player	Face Off Pct
S83	Gregory Bates	31.86%
S82	Eeli Rantanen	30.47%
S81	Otto Numminen	44.06%
S80	Frank Funk Jr	39.19%
S79	Gustislav Nasherov	29.60%

 

 

 

The Triple Deke Award (most penalty shot goals) - Zeedayno Chara @Jubis 

 

Zeedayno really put their mark on this award by scoring on 7 of their 9 penalty shot attempts. The seven goals is enough to win this award outright and almost matched the all-time record.

 

All-time record: S67 - Veran Dragomir and S78 - Thomas Landry II - 8 penalty shot goals

               

Last 5 Triple Deke Award Winners:

Season	Player	Penalty Shot Goals
S83	Zeedayno Chara	7
S82	Baby Bob	4
S81	Armani Calamari	5
S80	Calvin Hobbes	5
S79	Nathan Perry	5

 

 

 

The Rocky Award (most fights won) – Brian Payne @Scurvy 

 

What an amazing performance by Brian Payne. They broke the long-standing all-time record by winning 7 fights this season! And this is only their rookie season. Lots of eyes will be on Payne to see if they can keep inflicting pain.

 

All-time record: S83 Brian Payne – 7 fights won

               

Last 5 Rocky Award Winners:

Season	Player	Fights Won
S83	Brian Payne	7
S82	Owen Taylor	4
S81	Pistil Stamen	3
S80	Jared Carter	4
S79	Calvin Hobbes	5

 

 

 

 

The Glass Joe Award (most fights lost) – Kyle Glass @Tbeez99 

 

Well it’s fitting for this award to go to someone with the last name Glass. Kyle Glass may need to spend a little more time training karate. They lost 3 fights this season, that was matched by two other players, Phil The Rock Johnson @Phil and Vinny Detroit @dasboot. Glass gets the award on the tie-breaker because their over record of 1-3-0 was worse than the other two players.

 

All-time record: S74 - Lee Xin and S69 Rusty Shackleford - 5 fights lost

               

Last 5 Glass Joe Award Winners:

Season	Player	Fights Lost
S83	Kyle Glass	3
S82	Vasile Lamb	2
S81	Magnus Verlander	3
S80	Magnus Verlander	3
S79	Rusty Knale	3

 

 

 

The Stars Award (most stars won) – Zeedayno Chara @Jubis 

 

Zeedayno took home this award with 31 total stars this season. Congratulations to Duncan Idaho @OrbitingDeath  for leading the league with 18 1^st stars. And a shout-out to Xavier Booberry @CowboyinAmerica for leading all goalies with 22 total stars.

 

All-time record: S76 - Mikko Lahtinen – 34 total stars

               

Last 5 Stars Award Winners:

Season	Player	Total Stars
S83	Zeedayno Chara	31
S82	Taylor Mourning	33
S81	Justin Lose	28
S80	Duncan Idaho	28
S79	Gunnar Odinsson	32

 

 

 

The “Always a Bridesmaid” Award (most stars without winning 1^st star) – Tui Sova @v.2 

 

Tui was symmetric in their 2^nd and 3^rd stars, winning 5 of each. That’s a total of 12 stars without ever winning a 1^st star.

 

All-time record: S72 - Lewis Dawson and S67 Dan Baillie - 13 stars

               

Last 5 Bridesmaid Award Winners:

Season	Player	Stars
S83	Tui Sova	12
S82	Gustav Hjalmarsson	9
S81	Donny Carter	8
S80	Mistxh J	12
S79	Tim Waters	11

 

 

The Biggest Backpack Award (player with the largest difference in points from the rest of their team) - Saku Kotkakoivu @DollarAndADream  

 

Saku demonstrated their value to Calgary by recording 23 more points than their closet teammate. That’s a bigger difference than any other team in the league.

 

All-time record: S82 – Taro Tsujimoto - 52 points more than nearest teammate

           

Last 5 Backpack Award Winners:

Season	Player	Point Difference from nearest teammate
S83	Saku Kotkakoivu	23
S82	Taro Tsujimoto	52
S81	Alex Johnston	32
S80	Nathan Perry and Julian Nousiainen	22
S79	Red Lite	40

 

 

 

The Anniversary Award (rank in total points matches season number) - Robert Wilk @Tomat0 

 

This is season 83, so the award goes to the player in 83^rd place in total points. Congratulations to Robert Wilk! They recorded 54 points this season, good enough for 83^rd place.

 

Last 5 Anniversary Award Winners:

Season	Player	Points
S83	Robert Wilk	54
S82	Jakub Brozik	71
S81	AJ Williams	76
S80	Frank Funk Jr	71
S79	Tim Waters	64

 

 

 

 

The Eggshell Award (goalie with most overtime losses) - David Davis @Josh 

 

David Davis had a really good season. For some reason they couldn’t keep it together in overtime. They led the league with 9 OT losses.

 

All-time record: S82 - Sirkants Klamasteris, S78 – Calvin Harvey, S75 - Doug Dimmadome, and S71 Jaxx Hextall - 11 OT games lost

 

Previous Eggshell Award Winners:

Season	Player	Overtime Games Lost
S83	David Davis	9
S82	Sirkants Klamasteris	11
S81	Papa Emeritus	9
S80	Aksu Maronen	10
S79	Kevin Malone	8

 

 

 

The Jason Voorhees Award (most PIM by a Goalie) - Ben Dahl @Ben 

 

Ben Dahl wanted to send a message in their rookie season. They did just that by committing the most penalties for a goalie. Their 14 PIM was enough to win the award.

 

All-time record: S76 - Doug Dimmadome - 29 PIM

 

Previous Jason Voorhees Award Winners:

Season	Player	PIM
S83	Ben Dahl	14
S82	Thadius Sales	18
S81	Barry Taffe	23
S80	Tater Tot	14
S79	Jean Pierre Camus	23

 

 

  

The Poke Check Award (highest % of penalty shots stopped, min 10 penalty shots against) - Dexter Vaughn @Flames1Fan 

 

Dexter Vaughn showed their talents by stopping 80% of the 15 penalty shots they faced. That’s enough to lead the league and win the award.

 

All-time record: S81 – Tater Tot – 100% penalty shots stopped (10 shots faced)

 

Previous Poke Check Award Winners:

Season	Player	Penalty Shots Stopped
S83	Dexter Vaughn	80.0%
S82	Tater Tot	88.2%
S81	Tater Tot	100.0%
S80	Kunibuni UnGuri	81.2%
S79	Zamboni Driver	85.7%

 

 

 

That wraps it up for this season! Another year, another successful award ceremony! Congratulations and/or condolences to all the winners! As always, please provide any suggestions, insights, or thoughts in the comments. Thank you all for reading and continuing to make this a successful column!

 

 

2000+ words, will claim for 4 weeks.

 

[MubbleFubbles 1,219]

My favourite media article of every season! You must be getting close to being able to set up an unofficial Hall of Fame for those committed in their quest for the unorthodox awards haha!

 

Shots for days from Saku, is that the most of these awards any one player has had in a given season? 

[Jubis 1,282]

Wow  

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Not sure how I'll be able to celebrate by taking shots. I'll miss those too and make a mess.

[Masu Chan 431]

An amazing amount of effort goes into this article. I am honored to win one of your awards! Thank you!

[DMaximus 1,045]

Week 2 claim

[Tyler 881]

Coach gotta get me on the wing! 

[Vice 293]

Better than the HoF!

[DMaximus 1,045]

Week 3 claim

[DMaximus 1,045]

week 4 claim