Hooperorama

1,2,5,6,7 are all amazing

Nicholas Fomba - Goaltender

Signed a 1-year, $2-million deal in free agency


 
Fomba has made his intentions known that he'd like to play for every European team in his career. Although that'd be difficult to manage at this point, what Fomba will be able to do is take on a starting job in the VHL for the first time. He will hold down the starting goaltender job for the Predators until Krishna is ready to come up.


 
Hunter Hearst Helmsley - Center

Signed a 1-year, $5.5-million deal in free agency


 
HHH joined the Preds in what amounted to a coup for a fledgling franchise. Although he complemented the team's general manager for his pitch, it was ultimately random selection that led HHH to come Warsaw's way. Whatever the case, he gives Warsaw a legitimate star for the first iteration of this team, that can either dominate the team's single-season record books in his one year with the team, or ultimately become an attractive trade piece for a young franchise still far away from contention.

@.sniffuM  Ill rock one with HHH's face on the player ❤️ 
 

Although it’s a bit late, we were able to get Ottawa Lynx defenseman, Jiggly Gumballs, for an interview regarding the draft and before the season starts. Better late than never.
 
Pre-Season Interview with Jiggs!


Reporter:
So you were eligible and were drafted in both the VHL Draft and VHLM Dispersal Draft. Falling into the hands of the LA Stars 28th overall and the Ottawa Lynx 10th respectively. What are your thoughts now that the season is about to begin?
 
Jiggs:
As I said previously, I was very honoured to be selected by both teams. When I heard the whole “With the 28th overall pick...” and whatnot, I was genuinely surprised. I didn’t think I’d be picked as high as 28. I was at least expecting a few picks after that. Visiting LA a while back was a fun experience and @Josh has been great as the GM so far. I know I won’t be playing with them this season, but I think I’ll be ready to take on the VHL by next season. Here in Ottawa, things have been great as well. I had a good experience getting to know my teammates and I’m ready to put my locker room expertise to work. If you know what I’m saying that is hehe. But in all seriousness, I’m super pumped to start the season and I’m ready to prove to @DoktorFunk that it was the right choice to take me 10th overall.
 
Reporter:
What do you wish to improve upon this season? Any goals you have in mind?
 
Jiggs:
Well an obvious goal is to win the cup with Ottawa. Other than that, my main goal is to improve my overall game. I was signed pretty late into the season, so I’ve yet to truly prove myself. So I want to keep pushing forward, keep improving and be a better player. Looking to block a lot of shots out there, maybe put up a few points. I also kinda want to win an award, though that’s just me being a bit selfish. I know whoever wins any award this season is deserving of it.
 
Reporter:
What do you think of Ottawa so far?
 
Jiggs:
Ottawa has been great so far! I didn’t have any trouble fitting in at all. The climate is a bit different from Houston, but I’m glad to be able to play in my country’s capital. It’s a great city and it isn’t too far to visit my hometown of Winnipeg. Teammates like Ajay Krishna and Lee Xin have been great and I’ve been getting along with them really well. I’m really motivated to play here and I’m ready to help bring them to the playoffs.
 
Reporter:
We know that you’re good friends with both Patrik Laine and Drew Minott as all three of you have played together in Houston in the previous season. Now that Patrik Laine has moved onto Miami, and Drew Minott stayed with the Bulls organization, do you still keep tabs with them?
 
Jiggs:
Of course! We’re all still great buds. I was really excited to learn that Minner ended up in LA as well. So even if we’re playing against each other for now, we’ll eventually end up as teammates. As I said, we’re all still really great chums. Heck, during the offseason, I took a trip to Finland to visit Laine and also maybe wrapped plastic wrap and put sticky notes all over his car. I’m actually pretty excited now since I now have a chance to play against them. Funnily enough, I’m pretty sure we face Miami in our first game of the season. So that’s fun.
 
Reporter:
How do you think your team will do this season?
 
Jiggs:
Well looking at the team, I think we’re ready for a nice playoff run. I want to win the cup, but I do know that there’s some tough competition like the aforementioned Miami Marauders. Heck, I even heard that Houston is stacking up as well. Though that’s the fun thing in sports eh? Even if you know you’ve got tough competition ahead of you, you won’t back down without a fight. I honestly think strong teams will only make you push yourself to be better than them. Also I hope that I can score a few more on Halifax since that’s the team I tend to score a lot against.
 
Reporter:
So have you been satisfied with your play recently? And what part of your game do you want to improve upon.
 
Jiggs:
Right now, my game has been pretty good. My skating has been good and I’ve improved on my defense and puck handling, but I can’t just be satisfied with just that when there’s still so much to improve upon. My game isn’t complete. There’s still much to learn and a whole league I haven’t even stepped foot on. I am in a constant drive to get better and better. I’ve always prided myself on my worth ethic, and despite being a locker room clown, at least I do what I can to improve. Right now I do want to improve on my checking a little. I had quite the number of hits in my short stint last season, and I wanna improve on that. Checking is key for a defenseman afterall. Plus, I'm a bit smaller than some defensemen, so I have to learn how to shut down those who I consider to be frickin’ giants. Other than that, maybe I can improve my scoring a little? Wouldn’t hurt to score a few more goals eh?
 
Reporter:
So we have to know, what sort of battle plans do you have for the season?
 
Jiggs:
Well I’m afraid I can’t say much on that. I do have stuff planned but it must stay confidential. Wouldn’t want to spoil the fun. I’ll tell you this though. My pranking won’t be reserved to just my locker room. Of course if I overstep boundaries, I’ll step off the gas pedal a bit, but it’s all meant to be fun and games. I don’t want to harm others in a negative way because of my tomfoolery. They may think my pranks are annoying or tedious, but I don’t want them to hate me. As I said, it’s all for fun. Plus, I treat everyone fairly. So if one gets pranked, expect the rest of you to come soon as well~
 
Reporter:
Well thank you so much for the interview, and hope you have a great season!
 
Jiggs:
Thank you thank you! Always a pleasure.
 
 
(1067 words)
 
 

Welcome again to my expectation’s media spot! Where I go through the most in-depth power rankings post you have seen yet! This is where I rank how each team will perform, and I also project their wins and losses over the season! Incredible!
 
Mind you, I can’t account for things like trades, busts, people leaving, signings or TPA growth. Basically, all the independent variables that a teams TPA is depended on. Which is why the result at the end of the season might be VERY different.
 
Method
If you want to know my method, you can read this. There will be a bunch of formula and math jargon going on here. You can feel free to skip this and just look at the list. My feelings won’t be hurt.
 
This was a two-step process. The first step was figuring out the baseline wins and losses for every team. Then the second part was adjusting the number of wins and losses total so that it fit the 432 games that are played in the regular season.
 
I took all the teams’ players and threw them onto a spreadsheet. Then I added up all their TPAs together. From when I did this segment the last season, I discovered the TPA per point was 29. Meaning for every 29 TPA a team had, they got a point in the regular season. I used this as a baseline. I had to round to the nearest whole number because you can’t have half a point.
 
Halifax has 603 TPA on their team.
603/29 = 21
 
When I did that for every team, I got a small problem. It totals up to 350 wins and 514 losses. I wanted both numbers to be at 432 because there are 432 games played in the season. So, I needed to do some adjusting by spreading out 82 wins among our 12 teams. How did I get to decide how many wins a team got? I’m glad you asked!
 
I added up all the TPA in the league from all the teams. It turned out to be 20,303 TPA. I then divided the amount of TPA each team had to get a percentage. Again, I rounded to the nearest whole number because you can’t have a part of a win. It’s either you lost, won, or went into overtime.
 
There is 20,303 TPA in total. Halifax contributes to 0.03% of that.
20,303*0.03
 
I used the 0.03% TPA contribution that Halifax had as the amount of wins they would get from the 82 left over. Because they had 0.03% of the TPA in the league, they would get 0.03% of the 82 wins available.
 
Halifax has 0.03% of the TPA in the league. There are 82 win up for grabs.
82*0.03 = 2
Congratulations Halifax you just got yourself two more wins! Because of the rounding, there were two more wins than I needed this way. Philadelphia was supposed to get 2 wins out of that slice of pie, but I cut them because they had the lowest amount of TPA. Sorry Philly fans.
 
I’ll be going down the list in reverse order. From the worst team to the best. You won’t believe who’s first!
 
Philadelphia Reapers 
Grade: Rebuilder
Record: 9 - 63 - 0 
Points: 18
 
Philly stands strong at 524 total TPA in their roster. Philly saw most of their players move up to the VHL or get drafted high in the S73 Dispersal Draft They’re going to be settling into rebuild territory for a while. There isn’t much else to say about this season for them.
 
The Reapers might spare some of their players by trading them away to contending teams. I mostly mean their goaltender, John Poremba, for a 1st and other assets to a team that needs a goalie. It will be interesting to see if Philadelphia can post a better record that last seasons Houston Bulls.
 
Halifax 21st 
Grade: Rebuild
Record: 13 – 58 – 1
Points: 27
Halifax is poised slightly higher than Philadelphia. Not that it matters down at the bottom of the league. With 603 TPA on their roster they could squeak a couple more wins out. Next season Halifax is going to be completely insane. Even though they won’t be dong great this year, you can watch out for them in the future.
 
There aren’t many all-star talents on the 21st. Which is okay, because even the greats had to start somewhere. Their best player, Hex Valentine, is a piece that you might see ship off. Consider this season for Halifax a bit of a quiet one as they explode into S74. 
 
Mississauga Hounds 
Grade: Rebuild
Record: 18 – 53 – 1
Points: 37
 
 
Mississauga is singing the same song as the rest of the rebuilders. However, with a couple more pieces to fit into their roster next season. They sit with a steady 851 total TPA at their disposal. This will be a forgettable season in their history. Yet an important one in their rebuild as they try to gain as many picks as possible.
 
Micheal Mac and Gavin Harris lead this team as their best forward and defender. Harris is a solid defensive defenseman that can lay out the body. The two way player Mac will be looking to lead the team in points and goals. Depending on their aspirations, could be trade bait or pieces for Mississauga next year if they stay under the 250 TPA limit.
 
Mexico City Kings 
 
Grade: Rebuild
Record: 21 – 50 – 1
Points: 43
 
Mexico City went all in last season trying to hoist the Founders Cup. With one draft pick for this season, Ottawa’s 1st, and a squad lacking a bit of depth, this season might be a bit tough. There’s 970 TPA on this roster so they’ll break 1000 in no time. The Kings wont be the worst team in the league.
 
Mexico is a team that still has some very good pieces. Their top pairing defensemen, Chance Rust and Kirishima Wakaro, would be a good enough pairing for almost any team in the league. The depth isn’t there. With one solid defensive and offensive line Mexico is going to be a seller as the season progresses.
 
Yukon Rush 
Grade: Hopeful
Record: 27 – 44 – 1
Points: 55
 
Yukon is the first team on the list to break 1000 TPA on their roster with 1247. It’s possible that Yukon can turn it around with a goalie prospect for next season. This is an upswing season for the Rush. There were great selections in the draft.
 
The first line of Jeff Odinson, Alek Andreshnikov and Vlad Imir will only look better as the season moves along. The back end and goaltending pose a few questions. It isn’t to say that Yukon can’t perform this season with the skaters they have on their roster. But if they want to unlock the full potential, looking for a starting goaltender and defensemen would help solidify a possible 1st round upset.
 
Las Vegas Aces 
Grade: Hopeful
Record: 32 – 40 – 0
Points: 64
 
Las Vegas isn’t as good as last season. They’re in the middle of the pack with 1495 TPA in the locker room. I would say Vegas will be a .500 team by the end of the season. Coming into the playoffs might be able to turn an upset but won’t go far. Watch this age well.
 
There are still good pieces on Las Vegas that are going to hit the TPA cap. Nils Fiedriksen, Onde Sandstrom and Gary Rush are all going to be excellent talents come the playoffs. With some signings and a couple trades Las Vegas could push themselves from hopefuls to contenders.
 
Houston Bulls 
Grade: Contender
Record: 39 – 32 – 1
Points: 79
 
Houston is almost a purely offensive team. Sitting with 1820 TPA in their roster. Being in their LR, I will say there are quite an active number of members. Compared to the other top teams in the league though, the numbers say they will get 39 wins. The Bulls are a team that will get better with time.
 
There is a considerable amount of star talent on this team. Which will be a trend the farther down the list we go. S74 prospects include Aloe Dear, Venus Thightrap and Markus Schauer, who are all top 10 prospects. Riley Knight and Drew Minott are veterans of the club and tie things together nicely. This is a Houston much different from the one last season.
 
San Diego Marlins 
Grade: Contender
Record: 44 – 27 – 1
Points: 89
 
San Diego came out of the last draft looking at cup contention. 2066 TPA is in their locker room, the first team to break the 2000 TPA mark. The S73 draft treated them well. They quickly sprouted from going 2nd last in the league, to potentially in the top 5. That’s a very good climb. The Marlins are looking high and mighty as the first real contenders for the founder’s cup.
 
There are two players that start at the cap already for the Marlins coming into the season. 1st overall selection John Merrick and Pietro Angellini. Doug Dimmadome is a solid starter that will be an elite goaltender come the playoffs. Don’t sleep on Marlin prospects Ryan Shwartz or John LeClair II. The left wingers that will be key pieces as the season goes along.
 
Ottawa Lynx 
Grade: Champion
Record: 52 – 20 – 0
Points: 104
 
Ottawa, my former team, is looking poised as one of the top 4 teams in the league. It’s a close race between them and their former first round opponent Saskatoon. Perhaps the two cats will have a rivalry going this season? Their S73 draft set them up for this season so you can look for them to make the most of it. It won't be difficult for them to make the most of their 2425 TPA either. 
 
Spearheading the charge is their 2nd overall selection Alec Volchenkov. The two-way passer with a build unlike most in the VHLM. Ajay Krishna is an absolute STUD in the net and is easily the best goaltender in the league. Jiggly Gumballs and Mikeal Keef lead this Ottawa defense. With defensive builds and an elite goaltender, good luck scoring on this Lynx squad.
 
Saskatoon Wild 
Grade: Champion
Record: 52 – 19 – 1
Points: 105
 
The team that is almost tied, but eclipses Ottawa by a single point, is Saskatoon. It would be a disservice to forget to mention they are the S72 founders cup champions. While they did lose good pieces in the dispersal draft, McWolf left this team in capable hands. This team isn’t just good, they’re going to be eying up the cup as one of the favourites to win. This team has a very solid 2462 TPA to start.
 
Keith Krestanovich, Dan Baillie Jr, Bobby Wyman and Emi Rune are your top liners for this team. Cal Conway is another top goaltender in the league. With a good balance of scoring and defense, expect this team to just play solid hockey throughout the season. S73 will be a ride to the playoffs.
 
Minnesota Storm 
Grade: Champion
Record: 59 – 12 – 1
Points: 119
 
Minnesota finished top of the league last season. There's an incredible 2752 TPA in that locker room. Though they didn’t win the founders cup, this team is poised to go right back again. Under normal circumstances a team with 2752 TPA in their starting roster would be enough to put them as the best in the league. This time around, it’s not the case.
 
The storm have the players and the experience needed to go deep in the playoffs. Shawn Glade III and Ziarie Anigbogu are both 250 TPA and their starting pairing defensemen. Elite. Couple that with Cole Newhook, Jer Lefebvre and John Brewitt on your first line and you have the elite players needed to make other teams shudder. The scoring on this team is deep too. Joe Exotic and Jack John make excellent depth pieces.
 
Miami Mauraders 
Grade: Champion
Record: 66 – 6
Points: 132
 
3088 TPA. Last years Minnesota Storm had finished the regular season with about the same number. Miami is an absolute unit. They are the clear winners of the last draft and the favourites to win the cup this season. Can’t wait to see Miami dominate this season and work into a finals cup run.
 
Eight players in the 200 TPA range and five of them being at the cap already. Miami was fortunate enough to win the Patrick Laine sweepstakes, for starters. I could talk about the talent of Andre Lebastard, Dakota Lamb, Oh Sens, Wolf Stansson, Matty Stocks, Kevin King, Victor Grachev or Luke Thornton. But honestly, that was enough and I’m already past 2000 words.
 
Final Standings Table: 

 
Thanks for reading and I hope that my standings are accurate! Enjoy! Words: 2118
 
Mentions (I just finished and this is a lot of mentions, very sorry):
@ahockeyguy @IamMOOSE @fishy @Jtv123 @KaleebtheMighty @osens @PatrikLaine @Andre LeBastard @dlamb @GoadenGoalie35 @Joe Exotic @JBrew42 @GrittyIsKing09 @Jer_Lefebvre @ngine4 @ShawnGlade @Shaka @Boragina @wcats @Lefty_S @Emi @JigglyGumballs @Hooperorama @SirRupertBarnes @Esso2264 @Enorama @flyersfan1453 @Steve @okifenoki @Renomitsu @BladeMaiden @DreMin15 @KnightRiley @Biggreen10 @fonziGG @G_Rush @CrlineDijohn14 @DrHexDex @LastOneUp @BigIrish @turkey2349 @Snussu @GoldGear88 @PuckPushers @Big Dee
 
 

Damn we lost to Warsaw, I'm resigning.

1. Ummmmm, i dont watch NHL
2. Warsawwwwwwwwwwwwww, or Riga
3.Team success, always!
4. Defense i guess
5. memories, i dont know why, i am listening to it while doing this 
6.  basketball, cuz it is cool ?
7. i am goalie
8. Challenge him to try sleeping during game day
9. 
10. 

After a whirlwind week for the VHL's four expansion teams, the Warsaw Predators have been able to set their future about as well as one could hope considering the other factors the new teams have had to contend with. In this two part VHL.com series, we'll highlight the key players that Warsaw has been able to bring in.
 
Arthur Dayne - Center
Drafted 3rd overall in the VHL Expansion Draft
 
Dayne has come a long way since being selected in the third round of the VHL and VHLM drafts last season. He developed into a key piece for the Mexico City Kings last season, finishing second on the team in goals and third in points, and played well in a run to the cup for the upstart Kings. His ascension in his first post-draft season led Dayne to be highly targeted by Warsaw; he will spend one more season growing in the VHLM before making his presumed VHL debut in Season 74.
 
Alex Bridges - Defenseman
Drafted 11th overall in the VHL Expansion Draft
 
Bridges was the lone player that Warsaw selected to play in the VHL immediately across both drafts this offseason. A slow grower, Bridges, a former second round pick by Seattle, spent his first two post-draft seasons in the VHLM before making his pro debut for Davos last season. Now, he'll have the opportunity to prove himself as the top defenseman for a new franchise where he'll have plenty of chances to put up solid numbers.
 
DAKOTA Lamb - Center
Drafted 10th overall in the S73 VHL Draft
 
The first rookie draft pick in Warsaw Predators history, Dakota Lamb entered the VHLM as a 4th round steal for the new Miami Marauders and he was able to parlay the success of a 93-point first season into being drafted much higher by another expansion franchise. Although he plays center, like Arthur Dayne, he gives the Preds some versatility, as the team can run both players up the middle to solidify their long-term standing at the position, or one can split out wide.
 
Ajay Krishna - Goaltender
Drafted 17th overall in the S73 VHL Draft
 
Warsaw's second S73 VHL Draft pick was originally 21st overall, a pick they acquired with the 6th overall pick in the expansion draft. However, the Preds worked the phones feverishly after using their 10th overall selection on Lamb, originally trying to get back into the first round to secure Krishna. The team was ultimately able to move up from pick 21 to pick 17, the first in the second round, while also picking up 55th overall, and sending away 46th overall to make the move. That allowed the team to select Ajay Krishna, an incredibly promising goaltender-of-the-future who has moved up his stock considerably since being selected 63rd overall in the last VHLM Draft.
 
Victor Grachev - Defenseman
Drafted 24th overall in the S73 VHL Draft
 
Grachev was a late joiner to the VHLM last season, so he's lower TPE than many of the guys selected around him, but Warsaw saw a lot of promise in his early run, enough so to select him with their second supplemental 2nd round pick. Grachev was just drafted 7th overall in the VHLM draft, and he figures to be a key part to a Miami Marauders team that looks like it will roll over the VHLM this season.
 
Jeremy Lin - Right Winger
Drafted 30th overall in the S73 VHL Draft
 
Lin has been a solid and steady contributor to the Mexico City Kings since they drafted him 35th overall last season in the VHLM draft, and he immediately slots in as the top outright winger prospect in the Predators organization. He will look to take on a bigger role with the team in their quest to make it back to the VHLM Founder's Cup finals.
 
Check in for part 2 in a few hours, where we highlight Warsaw's key free agency signings!

WARSAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

WARSAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Uh Oh, this is a public announcement! I have been officially demoted from "party manager AGM of Warsaw" to "I actually have to do my job, AGM of Warsaw." In my opinion, Muff's choice to demote me is completely unfounded. All I forgot to do is make a draft board for the VHL draft, expansion draft, and send offers out to free agents. Apart from that, I have done everything AGMs usually do in the bigs. I've been keeping our players' morale up by hosting eating competitions, and I even once posted a link to something related to TPE. I'm pretty sure Muff actually wanted to either kill or fire me after I started pulling out the GRU memes, but unfortunately when he signed me on, he didn't read the fine print of our contract. On a completely unrelated note, I now own half of Muff's house and his yacht. So next weekend we are hosting a party in my half of the house and my yacht.

When i was 13, i knew  i was going to turn 14 

@Hooperorama it was 5 games not a sweep 

You gonna be the next pekka rinne, scoring pucks from the other end! 

Ajay Krishna- G  | 6'83'' - 220 lbs
OTTAWA LYNX (S72-73) | 63OA
WAESAW PREDATORS (S73-) | 17OA
 
synopsis
They be calling Ajay, Ajay Krishna. Many of you really wont know me, but i am Goaltender for Ottawa lynx, drafted fifth round 63 pick by them in s72 or 73, dont remember. Had an average season, .89 SV% , something astonishing aint it! Just kidding , i know it aint that good, but as a rookie, it is ?.  Then after getting swept by the SSK (dont know the team name, just know the team abbreviations).  Then is was VHL draft time. I was so excited that i was picked second round, HOW EXCITING. Cool thing is Muff traded for my pick ?. Warsaw is really cool place, we have potential to be the best in the future ?.  I know I am rambling some shit to make up 400 words , whatever.
 
Strengths
+ Reaction TIme -  I am fast as F*ck boy,dont you dare try to penetrate at me,  it be coming back at you, (What even happens after saving a goal, idk). Reaction time is what i am focusing on right now ?. It is very important for a goalie, as far as I remember few people talking about, especially few top VHL goalies. Good to have people helping you out.
 
 
+ Hand speed -  I am even faster now. Now .100 sv%, gaurantee $100 on the line ,  i am kidding dont ping me . Hand speed is another important thing in my opinion. It kind of helped me get .890%. i dot know man, i am just typing random shit dont worry.  Ajay Krishna can be a top goalie in the future.
 
+ Style Control, Rebound Control - Being a very professional Hockey member of the VHL community, I know everything about the attributes, okay i am joking.  I am tryna say is that i dont know what are these, but i am good at them
 
Weaknesses
- Scoring - Can goalies score. I dont know,  but i cant score
 
- Leadership - Ajay, might not be the one you have to listen to in clutch moment. Ajay is a very bad leader, even though being a captain last season for Ottawa in the locker room. 
 
- Penalty Shot-  Ajay cannot be a the guy at clutch moments. He just hates scoring, which goalie does, if you do, CHANGE YOUR POSITION.  So, we can conclude , Ajay cant score at all



So this is my Scouting profile, Hope you enjoyed




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   401 words

Ajay Krishna- G  | 6'83'' - 220 lbs
OTTAWA LYNX (S72-73) | 63OA
WAESAW PREDATORS (S73-) | 17OA
 
synopsis
They be calling Ajay, Ajay Krishna. Many of you really wont know me, but i am Goaltender for Ottawa lynx, drafted fifth round 63 pick by them in s72 or 73, dont remember. Had an average season, .89 SV% , something astonishing aint it! Just kidding , i know it aint that good, but as a rookie, it is ?.  Then after getting swept by the SSK (dont know the team name, just know the team abbreviations).  Then is was VHL draft time. I was so excited that i was picked second round, HOW EXCITING. Cool thing is Muff traded for my pick ?. Warsaw is really cool place, we have potential to be the best in the future ?.  I know I am rambling some shit to make up 400 words , whatever.
 
Strengths
+ Reaction TIme -  I am fast as F*ck boy,dont you dare try to penetrate at me,  it be coming back at you, (What even happens after saving a goal, idk). Reaction time is what i am focusing on right now ?. It is very important for a goalie, as far as I remember few people talking about, especially few top VHL goalies. Good to have people helping you out.
 
 
+ Hand speed -  I am even faster now. Now .100 sv%, gaurantee $100 on the line ,  i am kidding dont ping me . Hand speed is another important thing in my opinion. It kind of helped me get .890%. i dot know man, i am just typing random shit dont worry.  Ajay Krishna can be a top goalie in the future.
 
+ Style Control, Rebound Control - Being a very professional Hockey member of the VHL community, I know everything about the attributes, okay i am joking.  I am tryna say is that i dont know what are these, but i am good at them
 
Weaknesses
- Scoring - Can goalies score. I dont know,  but i cant score
 
- Leadership - Ajay, might not be the one you have to listen to in clutch moment. Ajay is a very bad leader, even though being a captain last season for Ottawa in the locker room. 
 
- Penalty Shot-  Ajay cannot be a the guy at clutch moments. He just hates scoring, which goalie does, if you do, CHANGE YOUR POSITION.  So, we can conclude , Ajay cant score at all



So this is my Scouting profile, Hope you enjoyed




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   401 words

Glad you put the cowardly disclaimer at the start, otherwise I might have told you I got something you can lick.
 
In all seriousness, it looks like you know jack shit about most of the players you write about. I can't see any relevance, benefit or need for this piece.  Further, you clearly have no understanding of the term 'satire', this is not a satirical piece, in any way shape of form. So you can't claim satire, which to me leaves a poorly executed, self serving TPE grab, based on insulting people you know nothing about.
 
FYI
 
The Oxford English Dictionary defines satire thus:
 
a. A poem or (in later use) a novel, film, or other work of art which uses humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize prevailing immorality or foolishness, esp. as a form of social or political commentary. Frequently with on, of, against.
Originally distinguished from lampoon in being directed at a fault rather than at a person who has that fault, though there is now considerable overlap between the two terms.
Dude, I'm a shit writer, but at least some of my stuff can conjure a smile from time to time, this shit is just grim. 
 
Therefore, I an awarding you a never before awarded 1.0/10 for this piece of puerile journalism. 
 
It's not even funny. Fuck you.
 
 
 

...did somebody say EXPANSION? Funny how one word can send the entire league into panic mode and give @Beaviss a dopamine rush to rival his greatest "this one time I got wasted at the club" stories. Since I joined the league, expansion has never quite ceased to be a topic of conversation--either we were bringing in new teams in any given season, or people were talking about it and saying we needed to do that (and you can take a guess as to whomst). This season saw the biggest expansion in VHL history--take the big news of Prague and DC back in S67 and double that. We have four new teams, and that means a hell of a lot more work for me the next time I want to do a "look at every team in the league" article. I digress, as I'll save myself from that this week. This week, we look at expansion teams only--how they did in the expansion draft, how they did in the regular draft, and then, everybody's favorite, an overall rating for each. Hopefully this is accurate, reasonable, and not too boring. Let's get on with it.
 
 

CHICAGO PHOENIX
GM: @JeffD
 
The Expansion Draft: I can't say I loved Chicago's choices early on, but they made some nice ones at later points here. Would draft position be an early-expansion-draft consideration had Chicago chosen to go for a player or a pick at second overall rather than the first draft slot (among the expansion teams) in the VHL draft? It could be hard to tell. Personally, I like Arthur Dayne (who was picked at 3) as a solid choice at #2, but let's not get too hung up on that. All things considered, though, I'm a fan of most of their other picks here. Future draft picks are always good (and, might I add, are more valuable than the expansion draft made them seem) and there are easily solid players left to be had in the early second round--that 21st overall in S74, picked at #15, will likely be scary with that being the S66 recreate class. Syreck, dan, and Shaposhnikov all have second-line potential on a solid team, meaning that Chicago may have put their future supporting cast (Hi Victor! I promise I'm getting to that HoF article of yours) in order already.
 
The Draft: Chicago put their prime draft real estate to work with their first pick, the fairly high-risk, high-reward Jean Pierre Camus. Whether this pays off remains to be seen--solas' last player was underwhelming, but he's also made the Hall of Fame twice and is still relatively proven as a league vet. Matty Socks was a solid second-round choice, I'm a big fan of S Kuchar at 27th overall, and Joromir Jogr could end up being a third-round steal if a week of inactivity doesn't signal his demise. For a bit of a cherry on top, Chicago earns the title of "best name selected" with XxMouthCreamxX going in the 4th.
 
Overall: 6/10. Jeff has done a great job finding solid options later on, but I'm not entirely convinced that Chicago made the right choices at the top. This could go either way.
 
 

LONDON UNITED
GM: @McWolf
 
The Expansion Draft: You'd be hard-pressed to find a team who came out of the expansion draft with more on the player side than London. Jay Jones, left unprotected by Riga, was the pool's most promising prospect by far, and so it follows that he became the first player selected. James Rose is another young active while Keith Krestanovich is a league vet and a consistent, proven commodity. Throw this together with a 22nd-overall selection in S74, and it's a strong class already--oh wait! I forgot! Guy Lesieur went to London in the expansion draft too! Here's a high-earning vet who doesn't quite figure to be a part of the team's long-term future, but could make them more successful than the rest for now if he stays around and will also be a highly flippable asset should team management choose to move him elsewhere. All in all, probably the best expansion draft we've got.
 
The Draft: The regular draft was a tiny bit less impressive than the expansion. The big news came in the first round with the selection of Alec Volchenkov at 12th. While not necessarily a bad choice, Volchenkov, like Camus, also raises an eyebrow or two as being a player whose agent went inactive after the draft in S66. The Terrible Trivium could end up being a solid depth option, but per his agent he won't be a max earner anytime soon. After that, one player to keep an eye on is Tim Kamashev, a practice-facility-only player picked up in the third round. If properly contacted and given instruction by team management, Kamashev might end up developing at a faster rate and turning into an instant steal.
 
Overall: 6/10...but for entirely different reasons. I love everything about London's expansion draft, but the entry draft could leave something to be desired. Maybe Jeff did have the right idea going for the higher draft slot after all...
 
 

LOS ANGELES STARS
GM: @Josh
 
The Expansion Draft: It's incredibly difficult to judge the merits of LA's expansion draft as it wasn't until the selection of Gary Neal at #20 that they ended up with an immediate asset who even has a chance at being a part of the team's long-term plans. With the second entry draft position, two picks, and two players who will likely be flipped for younger players or picks at some point (Sigard Gunnar and Markus Nygren), a lot remains to be seen for the Stars. Regardless, I like what LA got--the lack of players already developed (at least, those which Josh probably intends to keep around on a long-term basis) brings about quite a bit of "what if," and there is definite risk involved, but the picks selected, and the probable value of the players, equates to a whole bunch of second-round talent. If this leads to even one player who far exceeds second-round expectations, LA's done great. Of course, any team has the ability to do this--but LA will have more shots at it than any other.
 
The Draft: Jeffrey Pines will probably end up on the wrong end of this season's edition of "Bust or Lick," but it's my opinion that he's the best first-round choice out of the expansion teams' picks. A first-gen talent with whom I was largely unfamiliar, I was surprised to see his hiring as Hounds AGM come so soon into his VHL career--but lurking around Hounds Discord as all good former GMs should, I can vouch for his activity and dedication, with the only red flag being first-gen status. Mikeal Keef is a nice, consistently earning defenseman, and the team may have found their goaltender of the future in Drew Minott. Jiggly Gumballs, per my lurking experience in Houston, is one of the draft's most underrated players, and even third-round choice Janiina Juutila is a consistent welfare earner. There's a lot to love about this class.
 
Overall: 8/10. I'm really impressed by how the entry draft went for the Stars, and with a crop of players like the ones they've got from there, they're in perfect position to use the pool of future assets they picked up through expansion to gather players based on need and hunt for steals. LA might peak a bit later than the others, but they're on track for the most success at the moment.
 
 

WARSAW PREDATORS
GM: @.sniffuM
 
The Expansion Draft: Aside from the second-to-last Entry Draft slot, Warsaw ended up with a grand total of three picks and two players. Though I'd stick with my general feeling that London won the expansion draft, Warsaw made it a tough decision--three 2nd-rounders plus two of the more solid players in the pool is great. Though Infernal has been guilty of disappearing once (or twice maybe? I don't remember), Dayne is a great earner, while Alex Bridges has endured a hiccup or two to remain active but figures to be a solid player at the beginning of Warsaw's good seasons. Throw in the picks and the Predators have a solid group of assets.
 
The Draft: I'm a fan! Dakota Lamb, first-round selection at #10, is quite active in the league server and one of the best first-gen talents of the class, while Ajay Krishna a few picks later represents the team's possible franchise goaltender once he overtakes incumbent Nicolas Fomba. Victor Grachev is a solid pick while Jeremy Lin could find his way onto the team's second line at some point. Maybe not the quantity of players picked up by the Stars, but good scouting was done and solid picks were made. 
 
Overall: 7/10. Barring some good use of assets on Josh's part, Warsaw easily had the second-best expansion draft. Solid choices continued to be made in the entry draft, and though the Predators probably aren't the best-set-up team, they do enough to stand out that they've earned a notch over Chicago and London so far.
 
 
I do hope this is a fair interpretation of current affairs; maybe in five seasons' time I'll follow this up with an article about how wrong I was about everything here. I'll just have to remember I said that...
 
 
 
1,533 words and good for three weeks. You know the deal.

@DoktorFunk no hard feelings best of luck to you and the rest of the Ottawa team @Hooperorama is an absolute stud hold onto him for as long as you can lol

I would be down to do this, I already do the VHLM Fantasy so would just be an extension of that. 

i am the only 12 TPE earner who is in the second round  ?

Introduction:
 
Welcome to another episode of Patrik's Picks! Now, as you may remember a little while ago I did an article on my thoughts of every VHLM team’s MVP during the regular season. I will be taking this idea and flipping it to the postseason. Now, let’s see who we have for our top performers.
 
Mississauga Hounds (Lost to PHI 4-1)
MVP: RW Michael Mac (4-3-7 in 4 GP)
 
Even though Mississauga was completely outmatched in their first-round exit against the juggernaut Philadelphia Reapers, right-winger Michael Mac showed up in a big way. Mac had 4 goals and 3 assists across 5 games in the series during Mississauga’s defeat in 5 games.
 
Ottawa Lynx (Lost of SSK 4-1)
MVP: G Ajay Krishna (0.895 SV% in 5 GP)
 
It was kind of expected that the Lynx would fall after trading a couple of their stars at the trade deadline and then seeing them matched up against top-seeded Saskatoon. Krishna played admirably and through 5 games in the series had an 0.895% save percentage. Now I know that his 5.32 goals-against average doesn’t look so nice, but he was facing extremely high shot volumes almost every game in that series.
 
Las Vegas Aces (Lost to MEX 4-2)
MVP: G Nils Friedriksen (0.898 SV% in 6 GP)
 
Las Vegas played admirably in their opening-round loss to the Mexico City Kings and Vegas netminder Nils Friedriksen is a big reason of why Vegas almost knocked off the Kings in the opening round. With a record of 2-3-1, an .898 save percentage and a stellar 2.75 goals-against average, Friedriksen was playing great hockey for Vegas but Mexico City was just too much to handle.
 
Miami Marauders (Lost to MIN 4-3)
MVP: C Andre Lebastard (1-11-12 in 7 GP)
 
Nobody expected much out of the expansion Miami Marauders this year. If people thought a playoff appearance was unexpected, what happened next would blow their minds. Miami almost knocked off the powerhouse Minnesota Storm in 7 games in the first round. Miami centre Andre Lebastard was a part of this special Miami run, notching only 1 goal in 7 games, but adding 11 helpers within those 7 games as well. Unfortunately for Miami, their season would end with a crushing 5-3 loss in game 7.
 
Minnesota Storm (Beat MIA 4-3, Lost to MEX 4-2)
MVP: RW The Terrible Trivium (5-6-11 in 13 GP)
 
After going down 3-1 to Miami in the opening round and coming back to beat them in 7 games, Minnesota was raring to go in round 2 for a date with the red hot Mexico City Kings. Minnesota right-wing The Terrible Trivium was a huge part of Minnesota’s amazing comeback. In 13 postseason games, he notched 5 goals and 6 assist for 11 points in 13 games. Unfortunately, Minnesota would be eliminated by Mexico City in 6 games.
 
Philadelphia Reapers (Beat MIS 4-1, Lost to SSK 4-3)
MVP: LW Adam Syreck (8-10-18 in 12 GP)
 
Philadelphia looked like a true contender heading into round 2 this postseason. They easily took out Mississauga in 5 games in round 1. They were going to be tested in round 2 with their opponent being Saskatoon. The Reapers acquired Adam Syreck and a few other of Ottawa’s superstars at the deadline and after dominating in the regular season, Syreck wasn’t finished. In 12 games with the Reapers in the playoffs, he had 8 goals and 10 assists for 18 points. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough as the reapers would fall to Saskatoon in 7 games.
 
Mexico City Kings (Beat LVA 4-2, Beat MIN 4-2, Lost to SSK 4-2)
MVP: LW Jeffrey Pines (10-12-22 in 18 GP)
 
Mexico City went on a miraculous run this postseason, dancing all the way into the Founder’s Cup Finals and a date with the red hot Saskatoon Wild. Kings left wing Jeffrey Pines was an absolute stud that entire run. He notched 10 goals and 12 assists in 18 games to help Mexico City advance into the Founder’s Cup Finals. Unfortunately, Mexico City would meet its match and end up losing to Saskatoon in a hard-fought 6 game series.
 
Saskatoon Wild (Beat OTT 4-1,  Beat PHI 4-3, Beat MEX 4-2)
S72 Founder’s Cup Champions!
MVP: LW Kazimir Komarov (14-17-31 in 18 GP)
 
The moment Saskatoon won the Founder’s Cup, you knew exactly who their MVP was, star left-winger Kazimir Komarov. He recorded 14 goals and 17 assists for 31 points in 18 games this postseason, one of the all-time great performances in VHLM Playoff history. However, Komarov didn’t just dominate on the score sheet, he dominated everywhere. Komarov in those 18 games also recorded 22 hits and 2 blocked shots to propel Saskatoon to the top of the VHLM.
 
Conclusion:
 
Before I end this article, I must say congratulations to the Saskatoon Wild for winning the Founder’s Cup! It was fun to watch you guys play all postseason and I wish all of you the best in your futures, especially their GM who is now taking a GM position with one of the VHL's expansion franchises.
 
People mentioned: @McWolf @Gooningitup @rory @Spade18 @der meister @Andre LeBastard @Hooperorama @Biggreen10 @LastOneUp
 
(842 words, 4703 characters written by @PatrikLaine)

Hello, and welcome to another edition of Under 250: The VHLM Report. In these series, we will be taking a look at the trends and topics from the past week in the VHLM. What twists and turns will our minor league hold? Stay tuned to find out!
 
Also, make sure to check out the wide variety of content here at VSN. There are in-depth weekly updates and an award tracker for the VHL, a great podcast, and daily WJC coverage when it starts up, among other informative articles. Check out our latest instalments here: 
 
VSN Weekly Review | Draft Rankings | Diamonds in the Rough | VSN Australia
 
The Review
 
The S72 VHLM season has come to an end, and we have a winner to be crowned. Congratulations @McWolf and the rest of the Saskatoon Wild for their Founder’s Cup victory! The last time we checked in, the second round was still in progress, so let’s take a look now to see just how the rest of the playoffs panned out.
 
First things first, the end of the second round. At the time of our last article, we were still locked in a bitter playoff battle, with the Mexico City Kings leading the Minnesota Storm by three games to two, and the Philadelphia Reapers leading the eventual champions also by three games to two. Obviously, the Wild were able to battle back and forced the series to a seventh game, where they won in fantastic fashion in overtime. 
 
On the other end of the bracket, the Mexico City Kings closed out their semifinal series against the Storm in emphatic fashion, winning Game 6 by a score of 5-1. Thus, our stage is set for the Founder’s Cup Finals, in which the Saskatoon Wild took on the Mexico City Kings. Both teams were highly regarded going into the playoffs, with the Wild being favoured as second overall. However, after dispatching the regular-season champions of Minnesota, the Kings had good reason to believe they weren’t the underdogs here. Let’s take a look now at each game of the Finals, and learn how the Saskatoon Wild went all the way. 
 
Game One: Mexico City Kings Victory (4-3 OT)
 
The series kicked off with a fantastic game, with both sides scoring in each of the three regulation periods. Chris Hylands started off the series with the first goal late in the first period, but the Wild quickly tied it up. Throughout the game, no team held a lead for longer than five minutes, as each time one went ahead, the other came back quickly. Hylands was vital in this game in general, earning a well-deserved first star as his goal and two assists were instrumental in securing the Game One victory. For Saskatoon, Keith Krestanovich showed his talent, scoring the game-tying goal in the third period just 20 seconds after Mexico’s Jeffery Pines took the lead. The overtime was something of a spectacle, however, after such a close game. With all thoughts looking towards a gritty finish, the Kings managed to put the game to bed just four seconds into the overtime period, with Victor Mjers finding the back of the net off a pass from Hylands. 
 
 
Game Two: Saskatoon Wild Victory (5-3)
 
Despite losing Game One, Saskatoon responded well, but Game Two was also a close affair. The Wild took the lead three different times, once in each period, with the Kings tying it up in each of the first two. They struck early each time, with Dan Baillie Jr. scoring three minutes into the first, Kazimir Komarov scoring six minutes into the second, and Timothy Brown scoring just one minute into the third. Baillie Jr. followed this up with his second of the night, almost four minutes into the third period with what would become the game-winning goal to tie the series up at one apiece. Despite Chris Hyland’s best efforts, including a two-goal game, the Kings were unable to tie it up this game. 
 
 
Game Three: Saskatoon Wild Victory (7-3)
 
Somebody must have pissed the Wild off in Game Two, however, because they came out swinging in the first period of Game Three With four back to back goals all in the first 12 minutes of the first period, they took a commanding lead straight away, ending the game essentially before it began. Kazimir Komarov was vital in moving the puck around, finishing the game with four assists including three of those four first period goals. Lucas Brandt, however, was the star of the show, earning a hat-trick with a goal in each period, and topping it all off with two assists just to rub it in. A truly fantastic performance from the young centre that stole the show, and stole Game Three in Mexico City. What’s even more impressive is his percentage, having scored on three of his five total shots. Clinical!
 
 
Game Four: Saskatoon Wild Victory (2-1)
 
What’s a playoff series without a good old-fashioned goalie battle? In perhaps the closest game of all these series, despite the Game One overtime, the Wild narrowly defeated the Kings of the back of Grekkark Gyrfalcon’s .958 SV% performance, in which they outscored the Kings 2-1. Mexico’s Zamboni Driver also played phenomenally, with 29 saves, good for a .935 SV%. In fact, despite Driver not showing up on the three stars, I would argue that holding the Wild to just one power-play goal on ten attempts is worthy of recognition. Without such gritty play, this scoreline could have been a lot worse. Timothy Brown opened up the scoring in the second period for the Wild, just two minutes into play. It wasn’t until the final minutes of the third that Mexico’s John Merrick was able to tie up the match, but the relief was short-lived. Just 20 seconds later, the Kings conceded one of their ten penalties, but this one stung. With star player Chris Hylands in the penalty box, the Wild struck quickly, as Gino Alkamino scored the game-winning goal to put the Wild up three games to one, and just within reach of their second Founder’s Cup in four seasons. 
 
 
Game Five: Mexico City Kings Victory (5-2)
 
Down in the series, the Kings needed to win in Saskatoon to keep their cup hopes alive; and win they did. Blitzing the Wild with three goals within three minutes, the Viktor’s of Mexico City were on fire this game. A player named Viktor scored or assisted in all but one of the King’s five goals, with Viktor Mjers ending the game with two goals and one assist for the first star, while Viktor Alexei Kamenov earned the second star for his one goal and three assists. A brace from Adam Frence attempted to keep the Wild in the game, but it was too little too late, with his second coming with just 20 seconds left in the game when they were already down 5-1. The Kings were particularly lethal on the power play, scoring 3 of their 7 attempts including the game-winning goal in the first period. Krestanovich will be kicking himself, as that first period saw two power-play goals go in based off two penalties for holding. And so, the Kings stayed in the series for another game. 
 
 
Game Six: Saskatoon Wild Victory (5-2)
 
Unfortunately for Mexico, they weren’t able to stay in the series for another game. The Saskatoon Wild pulled the same stunt on the Kings, with three first period goals setting the tone for the match. In fact, much of this game was identical to Game Five, just flipped around. Three first period goals, 3 of 7 from the power play, and a strong goalie performance to seal the deal. Despite a strong Mexico City showing in the second period that saw them bring it to within one thanks to a goal from Jay Jones and Viktor Mjers, the Wild finished strong with two power-play goals early in the third to put the game to bed. The trio of Brandt, Brown, and Komarov was on fire, and each player earned at least 3 points. Brandt and Komarov had two goals and one assist apiece, while Brown scored once and assisted three times, to seal the series, and the season, for the Saskatoon Wild. 
 
 
Playoff Performers
 
Now that the games have all been played, it comes down to the end of season awards voting. So, who will be crowned playoff MVP? Logic says it will be the Wild’s star performer in this playoffs, left-winger Kazimir Komarov. The Russian ended the campaign with the most goals in the playoffs with 14, tied for the second-most assists with 17, leaving him top of the points leaderboards with 31, five higher than teammate Adam Frence’s 26. Along with a higher +/- rating than his teammates at the top, Komarov is the likely bet for playoff MVP.
 
Assuming, however, Komarov doesn’t win, who has the next best chance?  King Kruul, also of the Saskatoon Wild, had the most assists in the entire playoffs with 18, in addition to having the most hits in the playoffs, and beats Komarov in +/- by a single point. The defenceman was a strong performer and has the highest points for a d-man. Following him is another Wild defenceman, Tyler Walker, who despite earning six fewer assists managed five more goals, making him a much more balanced offensive defenseman. 
 
A valuable mention goes out to Kosmo Kramerev of the Miami Marauders. Despite exiting the playoffs in the first round, he managed to land on 11th overall for points, playing just 7 games, earning an astounding 18 points in those matches. If he played the full 18 like the Wild, he would have had an incredible 46 points, assuming he maintained his scoring pace. Well done!
 
That’s all for this season of Under 250: The VHLM Review. Thank you all for reading, and stay tuned next week for the VHLM Awards Ceremony! Congratulations once more to the Saskatoon Wild for their Founder’s Cup Victory! Until next time!

 
GMs: @McWolf @Spartan @DMaximus @Motzaburger @Rayzor_7 @rjfryman , @InstantRockstar, @DoktorFunk, @Ricer13 @Dil @MexicanCow123 @ColeMrtz
 
Players Mentioned: @wcats, @ChaceT, @Boragina, @TTtheT, @Hylands, @rory, @InstantRockstar, @Gooningitup, @a_Ferk, @twists, @Sharkstrong, @Tape-to-Tape, @Steve, @BigTittySmitty, @Kachur, @LefLop, @Advantage, @Mongoose87