7th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards – S72

[DMaximus 1,046]

Another exciting regular season has come to a close. That means we can dole out some regular season awards! Welcome everyone to the 7^th Annual Unofficial VHL Regular Season Awards honoring S72! Thank you to everyone that reads this. I’m always looking for new award ideas. Please keep the award suggestions coming!

 

These awards have been created by me. There is no voting process and they are not officially recognized by the VHL Board of Governors. I wrote descriptions for most of these award names in the original award post. Let’s get things underway!

 

 

The Pylon Award (worst +/- rating) – Jack Feriancek @Jackie4967 

 

Malmo claimed the bottom 6 spots for this award, with Jack leading the way with a -59.

 

Previous Pylon Award Winners:

Season	Player	+ / -
S71	John Madden	-43
S70	Bert Meyers	-45
S69	Basaraba Moose	-57
S68	Sven Hitz	-58
S67	Piotr Jerwa and Nethila Dissanayake	-34
S66	Bryce Zhields	-49

 

 

The Gandhi Award (least penalty minutes, min 1,000 minutes played) – Jared Spaz @Spaz 

 

Spaz just met the 1,000 MP requirement for this award. But he did and claims it with 2 PIM in 1,106 minutes played. Special recognition to Patrik Tallinder @Patrik Tallinder  (4 PIM, 2,150 MP) and Dean Clarke @Kyle  (4 PIM, 2,166 MP)

 

Previous Gandhi Award Winners:

Season	Player	PIM	Minutes Played
S71	Soren Jensen	4	2016
S70	Denver Wolfe	2	1988
S69	Hugh Chan	4	2050
S68	Jack Lynch	0	1473
S67	Diljodh Starload	0	2091
S66	Beau Buefordsson	0	1939

 

 

Oh what’s this?! A new award, snuck right into the middle of the presentation?! It can’t be… Yes it is! A new award!

 

A lot of people can accumulate penalty minutes, but it takes a special person to get major penalties. The Major² Award aims to award this special player we can now call the major of majors. The award is given to the player who has the most major penalties.

 

The Major² Award (most major penalties) - Mikko Lahtinen @Beketov 

 

Mikko topped the league with 9 major penalties this season. Congratulations on winning the 1^st ever Major­² award!

 

 

 

The Timex Award (received most hits) – Anthony Matthews @Anthony Matthews 

 

Matthews led the league by getting hit 274 times. The same number of times last season’s winner, HHH, was hit.

 

Previous Timex Award Winners:

Season	Player	Hits Taken
S71	Hunter Hearst Helmsley	274
S70	Hunter Hearst Helmsley	282
S69	John Madden	357
S68	Mikko Aaltonen	297
S67	Rauno Palo	302
S66	Beau Louth	300

 

 

The John Wayne Award (most shots on goal) - Jet Jaguar @gorlab 

 

Jet launched an impressive 425 shots on goal this season.

 

Previous John Wayne Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots Taken
S71	Scott Greene	402
S70	Juilius Freeman	453
S69	Juilius Freeman	452
S68	Rylan Peace	466
S67	Matt Thompson	495
S66	Shane Mars	533

 

 

The “Hit the Broadside of the Barn” Award (most own shots blocked) - Henrik Zoiderberg @HenrikZoiderberg 

 

Zoiderberg gets the award with 122 of his shots being blocked. This won over 2^nd place finisher and last season’s winner, Guy LeGrande (120 OSB).

 

Previous HtBotB Award Winners:

Season	Player	Own Shots Blocked
S71	Guy LeGrande	122
S70	Shawnomir Jagr	129
S69	Julian Borwinn	136
S68	Rylan Peace	144
S67	Beau Louth	153
S66	Oyorra Arroyo	142

 

 

The “Can’t Hit the Broadside of the Barn” Award (most own shots missed) – RJ Jubis @Jubis 

 

Jubis matched the winning total from last season, 299 missed shots. Really?! You couldn’t have missed just one more to make it an even 300?

 

Previous CHtBotB Award Winners:

Player	Season	Shots Missed
S71	Guy LeGrande	299
S70	Juilius Freeman	343
S69	Elias Dahlberg	320
S68	Rylan Peace	351
S67	Beau Louth	364
S66	Roctrion King	372

 

 

The New Shin Pads Award (most blocked shots) – Condor Adrienne @OrbitingDeath 

 

Condor had this award on lockdown since the very start of the season. He blocked 188 shots, 33 more than the next best player. Simply amazing!

 

Previous New Shin Pads Award Winners:

Season	Player	Shots Blocked
S71	Aron Nielsen	153
S70	Guillaume Fontenette	145
S69	Guillaume Fontenette	166
S68	Seabass Perrin	207
S67	Piotr Jerwa	170
S66	Lando Baxter	189

 

The Tired Legs Award (most minutes played) - Condor Adrienne @OrbitingDeath  and Zyrok12 @Zyrok 

 

These two teammates tied for this award, both playing exactly 2,227 minutes. Oddly enough STHS figured this to mean that Condor played 30.93 minutes per game while Zyrock12 played 30.94 minutes per game. Not sure how that works out, but nice job guys!

 

Previous Tired Legs Award Winners:

Season	Player	Minutes Played
S71	Juilius Freeman	2189
S70	Juilius Freeman	2164
S69	John Madden	2259
S68	Mikko Aaltonen	2290
S67	Shawn Glade	2226
S66	Robert Malenko	2324

 

 

The Snap! Award (most power play minutes) - Micheal Gary Scott @Motzaburger 

 

In a fitting celebration, Micheal Gary Scott organized the entire office to film a music video to “The Power.” He nabbed this award with 340 minutes on the power play.

 

Previous Snap! Award Winners:

Season	Player	PP Minutes
S71	Juilius Freeman	364
S70	Juilius Freeman	372
S69	Elias Dahlberg	368
S68	Joseph McWolf	351
S67	Beau Louth	437
S66	Jake Davis	412

 

 

The 1 vs. 100 Award (most time on penalty kill) - Cody Smith @cody73 

 

Prague must take a lot of pride in winning this award. They dominated this category, taking the top 7 spots. Cody took home the award with 356 minutes killing penalties.

               

Previous 1 vs. 100 Award Winners:

Season	Player	PK Minutes
S71	Jacob Perry	344
S70	Jacob Perry	380
S69	Wolf Stansson Jr	328
S68	Jack Lynch	353
S67	Aron Nielsen	374
S66	Lew Bronstein	352

 

 

The Sean Archer Award (highest face-off win %) - Hunter Hearst Helmsley @Beaviss 

 

After being unseated by Jet Jaguar last season, HHH worked hard on his face-off game and reclaimed the title by winning 62.35% of his 3,086 faceoffs.

               

Previous Sean Archer Award Winners:

Season	Player	Face Off Pct
S71	Jet Jaguar	61.84%
S70	Hunter Hearst Helmsley	60.78%
S69	Rauno Palo	59.45%
S68	Podrick Cast	62.56%
S67	Beau Louth	63.09%
S66	Rauno Palo	63.10%

 

 

The Castor Troy Award (lowest face-off win %, min 1,000 faceoffs) - Richard Penisson @bluesfan55 

 

With Zeno retiring, this award was open for anyone to nab. Richard Penisson rose to the occasion. He only won 38.13% of his face-offs. Maybe blood was flowing to the wrong head during face-offs?

               

Previous Castor Troy Award Winners:

Season	Player	Face Off Pct
S71	Zeno Miniti	42.07%
S70	Zeno Miniti	42.07%
S69	Zeno Miniti	32.27%
S68	Gritty	36.31%
S67	Gucci Garrop	35.07%
S66	Bryce Zhields	30%

 

 

The Triple Deke Award (most penalty shot goals) - Sigard Gunnar @Big Mac 

 

6 must be a magic number for this category and for Gunnar. He wins this award in consecutive seasons with 6 penalty shot goals. Micheal Gary Scott @Motzaburger  also scored 6 penalty shot goals, but needed 14 attempts, giving Gunnar the award.

 

               

Previous Triple Deke Award Winners:

Season	Player	Penalty Shot Goals
S71	Sigard Gunnar	6
S70	Owen Nolan	6
S69	Owen Nolan	6
S68	Jorgon Weyed	6
S67	Veran Dragomir	8
S66	Leph Twinger	5

 

 

The Rocky Award (most fights won) – Kristopher McDagg @Viperxhawks19 

 

What a mess this category is. 10 players tied for the league lead with 2 fights won. Ok, so let’s eliminate anyone who lost a fight. Down to 5 players. Now what’s more important? Winning a higher percentage of fights, or having more fights without losing?

3 players went 2-0-0. (Sigard Gunnar @Big Mac, Boris the Forest @chillzone, and Charles Drumm @frescoelmo). Is that better or worse than McDagg’s record of 2-0-4. I’m saying McDagg is more impressive, so he gets the award on the tiebreaker over everyone else, including Jack Feriancek @Jackie4967 (2-0-3).

               

Previous Rocky Award Winners:

Season	Player	Fights Won
S71	Owen Nolan	3
S70	RJ Jubis and Ambrose Stark	2
S69	Edward Vigneault	4
S68	Tyler Barabash Jr	2
S67	ACL TEAR	6
S66	Ryuu Crimson	4

 

 

The Glass Joe Award (most fights lost) – Roll Fizzlebeef @TacticalHammer 

Roll claims the award with a dismal 0-3-1 fight record, losing the tiebreaker to Pengu @Pengu  who had more draws going 0-3-4.

               

Previous Glass Joe Award Winners:

Season	Player	Fights Lost
S71	Benny Graves and John Madden	3
S70	Walter Clements	3
S69	Rusty Shackleford	5
S68	Podrick Cast and Jordan Tonn	2
S67	Kronos Bailey and Hunter Hearst Helmsley	4
S66	Rauno Palo	3

 

 

The Stars Award (most stars won) – Julius Freeman @rjfryman 

 

Julius received 25 total stars this season. Sigard Gunnar @Big Mac tied with Julius with 10 1^st stars.

               

Previous Stars Award Winners:

Season	Player	Total Stars
S71	Hunter Hearst Helmsley	28
S70	Randoms	25
S69	Julian Borwinn	27
S68	Matt Thompson	32
S67	Rauno Palo	25
S66	Matt Thompson	28

 

 

The “Always a Bridesmaid” Award (most stars without winning 1^st star) – Lewis Dawson @Kendrick 

 

Leiws won 13 stars this season without ever winning the 1^st star. Impressively, 10 of those were 2^nd starts. So close Lewis!

               

Previous Bridesmaid Award Winners:

Season	Player	Stars
S71	Condor Adrienne	12
S70	Luciano Valentino	6
S69	Tzuyu	12
S68	Zeno Miniti	9
S67	Dan Baillie	13
S66	Mikka Pajari	7

 

The Biggest Backpack Award (player with the largest difference in points from the rest of their team) - Benny Graves @STZ 

 

Benny scored 13 more points than anyone else on D.C. The smallest difference in the history of this award.

           

Previous Backpack Award Winners:

Season	Player	Point Difference from nearest teammate
S71	Roque Davis	20
S70	Julian Borwinn	22
S69	John Madden	28
S68	Mikko Aaltonen	28
S67	Podrick Cast	23

 

 

 

 

The Anniversary Award

 

This award goes to the player whose total points rank matches the season number. This season was season 72. That means this award goes to the player who finished 72^nd in total points. The winner of this year’s Anniversary Award is…

 

Ondrej Ohradka @animal74 

Somehow, as we keep moving down the rankings, the points keep going up. Great depth we got going on here! Ondrej scored 51 points this season, landing him in the 72^nd spot in the rankings.

 

Previous Anniversary Award Winners:

Season	Player	Points
S71	Elasmobranch Fish	46
S70	Orion Slade	44

 

 

 

 

The Egghshell Award (goalie with most overtime losses) - Michael Johnson @fonziGG 

 

In his final season, Michael Johnson set a career worst 9 overtime losses. That’s enough to win the Eggshell award.

 

Previous Eggshell Award Winners:

Season	Player	Overtime Games Lost
S71	Jaxx Hextall	11

 

 

 

The <Insert best slasher movie of all time title> Award (most PIM by a Goalie) - A Red Guy @.sniffuM 

 

I’m still looking for suggestions for this award’s title. Share your favorite slasher film title with me. A Red Guy sliced and diced his way through the competition to win with 12 PIM.

 

Previous <slasher> Award Winners:

Season	Player	PIM
S71	Greg Eagles	10

 

 

 

The Poke Check Award (highest % of penalty shots stopped, min 10 penalty shots against) - Virgil Ligriv @MMFLEX 

 

Vitrgil stopped 83.3% of the 24 penalty shots taken against him.

 

Previous Poke Check Award Winners:

Season	Player	Penalty Shots Stopped
S71	Greg Eagles	79.30%

 

 

 

Phew that is a lot of hardware! That concludes our ceremony. Thank you for reading. Congratulations and/or condolences to all the winners! Have a good night!

 

 

 

[Doomsday 4,130]

Look forward to these every season, maybe one day I'll win one! Great write-up!

[NotAVHLM-GM 1,858]

Two awards ♡ 

[Victor 10,940]

Clarke snubbed

[Jubis 1,348]

299 shots missed

 

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take " Wayne Gretzky 

Edited June 28, 2020 by Jubis

[gorlab 4,321]

Has to be the Jason Voheres award, surely.  (Friday the 13th slasher who wears a goalie mask) 

 

 

 

love this yearly series tho, 2nd best thing behind BUST or LICK imo. 

[animal74 1,809]

Thanks for the Anniversary Award! I just hope I don't win it again next season!

[frescoelmo 1,276]

IDK man I think Drumm won both of his fights in the same period

[mediocrepony 1,216]

18 hours ago, Victor said:

Clarke FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY

Fisted Anally by a Circus Monkey

[Kyle 667]

21 hours ago, Victor said:

Clarke FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY

Potentially a career altering award for Clarke. A real shame.

[Victor 10,940]

1 hour ago, Kyle said:

Potentially a career altering award for Clarke. A real shame.

Would have been a Hall of Famer with that I think.

[Pengu 87]

Dodged a bullet lol!

[DMaximus 1,046]

Claim 2/3

[Plate 386]

Review

Please never stop doing this. The amount of times that I belly laughed reading this article is just a testament to your ability. I particularly liked the "Always a Bridesmaid" and "Can't hit the Broadside of the Barn" awards. Those are absolute classics. Another possible award could be the "Thief in the Night" award, rewarded to the player with the most takeaways (If that's recorded). You could also call it the Pavel Datsyuk award, but honestly thief in the night fits your theme a little better. I loved all of the graphics you threw in there. The only real criticism that I have is that there weren't more! Besides that, some of the summaries were a bit short. I understand how much work you do already scrounging numbers around so I wouldn't expect that. Continue these awards! 

 

Score

Content: 9/10

Flow: 10/10

Format: 9/10

 

I love this so much. Add a couple more awards and maybe summarize a bit better. Keep up the great work!

[DMaximus 1,046]

2 hours ago, Plate said:

Another possible award could be the "Thief in the Night" award, rewarded to the player with the most takeaways (If that's recorded)

 

I love the suggestion! Unfortunately this version of the sim engine doesn't track them. Thanks for your helpful review.

[DMaximus 1,046]

Claim 3/3