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gorlab

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Posts posted by gorlab

    Chicago Phoenix Press Conference

    in Team Press Conferences

    Posted

    1. WE'RE THE FUCKING CHAMPIONS, HOW DOES IT FEEL?!?!?!?!

    I believe the kids refer to it as "pog" so I am doing very poggers with the cup. Proud of this team.

     

    1. Did you plan an offseason celebration? What does it consist of?

    Yes, but it is far too vile to post on the VHL forum. Let's just say it involves several beautiful women skilled in hand-rolling cannabis cigarettes.

     

    1. The squad is staying together for the upcoming season, do you think we have a shot to repeat?

    Clearly, or else nobody would have stayed. Our team is definitely on the come-up so I'm expecting at least one more cup, if not more, in the next 3 season window.

     

    1. For your money, who deserves playoff MVP?

    Probably JPC. He played really well in a lot of big games in every series and there wasn't a skater who beasted and feasted to the level that he did in S76 playoffs.

     

    1. Of course, our first home game of s77 will be a "Raise the Banner" night. What kind of promotion should the stadium run to go alongside the occasion?

    I have no clue, I play hockey not work in marketing. Maybe we could have a BIG CAT BOBBLE HEAD NIGHT or something to commemorate the cup for our fans in attendance, even if covid regulations prevent any fans from being in attendance.

     

    1. If you could pick a goal song for the team, what would you choose? Link it if you can.

     

    BUST OR LICK - SEASON 77 DRAFT EDITION

    in VHL.com Articles

    Posted · Edited by gorlab

    Salutations VHLiens,

     

    Welcome to the league's most anticipated VHL.com written article of the season, with the 8th-annual Bust or Lick draft review. You know the rules, there aren't any. I decide if the players are going to be good or not, based on logic and reasoning I don't have to back up or even divulge. Basically it's VHL Award voting if it were just one person and it was a draft review instead of awards.

     

    Let's get it.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    *** TRIGGER WARNING ***

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    *** TRIGGER WARNING ***

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    BUST OR LICK - S77 VHL ENTRY DRAFT

     

     

     

    1. :mos: Paul Atreides - @Mr_Hatter - I haven't even looked at picks 2/3/4 yet but this strikes me as the obvious #1 choice of the draft class. BoL has never had anything but licks at the 1st overall position, and that.......... IS FINALLY OVER. I got love for Hatter and he had an exceptional first-gen career. To not be long-winded, here's why it's a bust. The actual good MOS core is now gone with the mastermind of it all, Big Vic, stepping down. Hatter had a great rookie career, but it was on the backs of actual VHL legends like the philly bros and a certain iconic member who hatter also robbed of trophies. MOS under someone besides Victor is nowhere near the same tier of aura that Raymond Bernard was a part of. Hatter looks to build his first skater and should also sophomore slump in terms of career quality, just because that is very possible of happening on a team I think is not looking to revive the S70 glory days anytime soon. BUST.  *shocked gasps* 

     

    2. :dav: Reylynn Reinhart - @Ricer13 - Davos slides in with a lotto pick here and Gustav manages to probably fumble the bag with a BUST. I still haven't looked at who's pick 3/4 but here's the problem with this pick.... Ricer13 is well-liked and his name hold weight in the VHL community, but he's a fucking VHLM legend. His time and energy is dedicated to whatever goes on in the VHLM. There's no problem with this, and VHLM legendary members like him are necessary and do great work, but it doesn't translate to VHL success. I had to look up his last player (Kris Rice) and saw a decent PPG but cobwebs in the trophy cabinet. 1 of 2 things happens here, his VHL player is average again cuz he's committing his focus on his VHLM duties, or he gets a VHL GM job and fucks your team over that way. Bag = fumbled but it could be worse depending on who's left in the 1st round. Edit: It's far worse now that I saw pick 3.

     

    3. :mos: Duncan Idaho - @OrbitingDeath - Oof. This pick ruined BoL S77 for me, personally. Legendary VHL member who really isn't even visibly active on VHL yet still cranks out dominant HoFer after HoFer. This pick does dilute some of what I wrote about MOS in pick 1, as Green brings a monstrous aura to any team and has winning pedigree. However, I'll stick with my claim and hedge my bet on MOS without Victor being meh and predict this plays out as a Condor Adrienne situation with Green statpadding individual awards but no major team success. You obviously can't give this pick anything other than LICK status though. So the full-BUST-draft dream ends here.

     

    4. :nya: Zeedayno Chara - @Jubis - Yes! One of my original BUSTs has come full-circle to re-appear in the BoL rankings! I guess it makes sense since this is the 8th edition, but it didn't dawn on me until this pick. Jubis is a member with kind of a mixed reputation amongst the VHL, but for my money he's pretty good shit. I assume this is his second go at a career, and he comes with a big d-man build. There's something about esso's aura that gives me hope for NYA, but I've been saying that for like 8-10 seasons now, and it's gone absolutely nowhere. Definitely has the ability to crank out a HoF-tier player, but how can I give Jubis anything but a BUST? He never got a chance to throw player1's career back in my face, so I'll give him another chance with Zeedayno here. 

     

    5. :mal:Brendan Telker - @Telkster - Very solid pickup here from rookie GM hylands, and I have some good history with Telkster as he was a part of Moscow's glory years as a very solid role player and iirc might have been the man to wear the C after Jaguar. Telkster is much like green IMO, a pretty grey-man type VHL member who doesn't cause much drama on the league stage so is kind of underrated but is committed to their team/player. I think hylands is capable of steering Malmo to success, so this is an interesting pick for me. I hope Telkster's second career is more all-star-tier calibre instead of role player, but I have to be convinced. BUST.

     

    6. :tor: Asher Reinhart - @rjfryman - Massive oof here for picks 2, 4, and 5. fryman coming for his second career after a dominant showing with career 1. Can't go with anything but a LICK here even though he's going to a cursed franchise. Peace with possibly his first good 1st round pick of his tenure might have a player to build a team around here. Haven't spoken too much to fryman lately, so only thing that could go wrong here is him getting disillusioned with VHL and leaving. Look for Reinhart to leave TOR and win cups in late career. 

     

    7. :cal: Rolf Fizzlebeef Jr - @TacticalHammer - Could be a decent depth pick here. I remember Roll Fizzlebeef, so I guess this is the same member? Don't know too much about them and it's Calgary.... BUST.

     

    8. :rig: Jan Hlozek - @Bojovnik - Hedge committed to his franchise model of unearthing the next great first gens. His sim-team philosophy clashes with mine, and that's okay! He's taken his vision and had success, albeit pretty spread out success, and his S77 first pick does not surprise me. It's a player/member I have never heard of before typing out this article. Good luck to you, young VHLer, may you be the next Mr_Hatter or rjfryman. I wouldn't bet on it though, and I love to gamble. BUST.

     

    9. :hel: Aurelien Moreau - @Frank - Great sneaky pick from Jubo here. Frank is a legendary VHL member and has been back in-forum-force lately. He's got the aura and he's been cranking out sigs like a madman so you know he's got the PT capabilities stacked up. Activity is definitely a question, but to try and envision a reality where Frank stays active on VHL is worth it enough for me to throw my dawg a certified LICK status. IMO is worth a top-4 pick in this draft so getting him at 9 is a nice little play by Jubo. Playername is questionable because didn't DaTrifecta have a player named Moreau recently too?

     

    10. :ldn: That Dude - @Cornholio - Feel like I know this guy but don't know them. Possible SBAer? IDK why but he has the stink of beav on him so maybe his last player was on VAN? Either way, it's London, the player name is cringe, and I can't think of a single reason to support this being a lick so we'll go with the inevitable BUST.

     

    11. :mal: Druss Deathwalker - @animal74 - Familiar username but I'm drawing a blank. Could be a good role player for hylands, but this draft class is devolving quickly. Don't know too much about the member, and player name is kinda cool but kinda cringe. Lick detector is basically giving no response anymore. BUST.

     

    12. :hel: Gustislav Nasherov - @Vat - Hopefully Jubo knows something I don't because I literally know nothing about this pick/player which isn't a good sign for BoL determination. BUST but good luck to them.

     

    13. :dav: Miles Johnson - @Midnite - Pretty solid pick considering the last 3-5 picks but it's Davos and I can't quite piece who the member is together. Possibly an SBAer? Apologies if we have a relationship but I remember very little about sim league affairs. BUST but good luck to ya.

     

    14. :cal: Joe Madison - @Brewins15 - Another player/member I have no clue about. Like the last several picks, could be a rare first-gen HoFer but I sincerely doubt it. Probability is low. Good luck to him. BUST. 

     

    15. :war: Hadrian - @bluesfan55 - This could actually be a snipe of a pick by muff. Pretty sure this member has been around sim leagues for awhile, could be an affiliate leaguer, I don't particularly know, or care, but I recognize his username. Obviously not giving a lick out at this point. This draft class looking garbo to me. BUST. 

     

    16. :que: Barron Kruulenstien - @LefLop -  BUST... Just,  BUST. 

     

     

     

    Thanks for joining me for another edition of Bust or Lick. Not a particularly strong draft class by any means, but we still unearthed a couple LICKS so nothing wrong with that. This may actually be the lowest number of licks ever given out in a draft class, which is a little unfortunate, but historic never-the-less.

     

    See ya for S78 where we will decide the fates of the next generation of VHL stars! 

     

     

    [ 3 LICKS  /// 13 BUSTS ]

    S76 Brett Slobodzian Trophy Voting

    in League Voting

    Posted

    4 hours ago, DarkSpyro said:

    Hahaha not surprised by this bullshit league. Same shit, different season? But of course!!

    I feel like a broken record saying the same thing again and again after every season, so I’m done. The bias in this community will never end but honestly I couldn’t care less about the VHL anymore. The joy in this league was torn away many seasons ago when I realized how this community works and that there was little place for me in it. I’m sick of this and oh yeah fuuuuuuuck Moscow. :)

     

    it's okay spyro, there's like 3 goalie-specific awards you can win.

    S76 Brett Slobodzian Trophy Voting

    in League Voting

    Posted

    5 hours ago, Beketov said:

    3/4 players from Moscow, watch out @Victor or people will say you’re rigging the results.

     

    I don't think anyone will say this to Victor because he has shown through his time on the VHL to not be completely self-absorbed and obsessed with his own player, and completely unwilling to do something simple to protect himself from accusations of rigging something........... unlike some VHL staffers.

     

     

    My vote is for Roque Davis. Not sure why any MOS players are even nominated though, team couldn't even get passed expansion Warsaw. :kekw:

    Chicago Phoenix Press Conference

    in Team Press Conferences

    Posted

    1. What's the best dream you've had?

    It is far too adult-themed to repeat on a family-friendly website like VHL but let's just say it involved a lot of high-potency marijuana and several well-endowed ladies.

     

    2. Do you believe in love at first sight?

    No, I believe love needs to be grown and nurtured in the form of a personal relationship and shared experiences.

     

    3. fishy has just ben hired as the new mod. Who should they ban first and why?

    Fishy's first action as VHL mod should be to UNBAN flames1fan from discord. He has quickly become a VHL discord staple and the VHL is missing out on not having him around on discord.

     

    4. As a kid, would you beg your parents to use night lights? Or did you find comfort in the darkness?

    I was definitely a bit of a pussycat when I was a kid, but I don't remember asking for or needing a night light. So I guess I was comfy enough in the darkness.

     

    5. What are our odds of winning the cup right now?

    100%. Our aura is unfuckwittable. Warsaw getting gently placed into a bodybag and/or casket.

     

    6. How many brooms did you take out for the purpose of sweeping Vanpoover?

    I found the lowest-quality broom gif I could find to honour our fallen comrades in Vancouver:

    a77MFLj.gif

     

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